Return of the Forsythia Bush
Joke told at my house: Last fall we put a new roof on our house. My husband also repaired the gutters. In preparation for doing that, he cut the forsythia bushes that lined our front porch back to the ground. It looked like a drastic bad haircut, one that revealed how crooked the porch flooring had become. Soon after, my eldest son came to visit. I heard his truck pull up in the driveway. I heard his footsteps coming up the path, pause, and then stomp up the front stairs. He swung the front door open and announced, “I hate the bushes! I hate the bushes!”
“Me too! Me too! Let’s get them impeached! I answered.
Joke heard over lunch at the foster care provider meeting I attended last week: What do you get when you cross a dyslexic and an atheist? Someone who doesn’t believe in dogs.
Speaking of dyslexia, can you read this (sent to me by my brother, Bob)?
Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe and the biran fguiers it out aynawy.
P.S. The forsthiya bush gerw back and is aoubt raedy to boolm.
Comments
I had asboluetly no prbolem and it was fun to raed.
Posted by: Lora Leigh | March 28, 2005 10:18 AM
The joke reminded me of the sad tale of the dyslexic insomniac agnostic who used to lay awake nights wondering if there really is a Dog.
Posted by: John S. Bell | March 28, 2005 10:41 AM
haha! ltes ipmaceh tehm ienedd!!!
Posted by: cbeck | March 28, 2005 5:40 PM
Bet that was fun to type!
Posted by: J&J's Mom | March 28, 2005 8:34 PM
Great post Col. Your response to your son hating the bushes and the cixelsyd joke make me laugh.
Posted by: Sherlock | March 29, 2005 9:41 AM
This post made me laugh, especially your impeach them comment. Very clever (and so quick!).
My grandmother had a forsythia bush right outside her back door. She had the patience of a saint, but when we had been very very naughty, she would send us outside to cut her a switch off the forsythia bush. Let me tell you, they are VERY effective switches.
Posted by: terrilynn | March 29, 2005 11:57 AM
My mother used a "spatula." I didn't know the correct name for it till I was in my 20's. We only knew to call it the "spanking stick!"
Posted by: colleen | March 29, 2005 12:42 PM