Loose Leaf Notes

When my clarity goes off course, it can take everyone around me with it.  At least that’s sometimes true at my women’s dialogue circle when I’m engaged in a conscious conversation.  It’s a conversation built on safety, one that supports the knowledge that my struggles are just an aspect of all that I am, and that the darkest places within me are where my deepest learning can shine.

It’s amazing what can happen when we intend to pay attention, and when we change our “we” statements to “I” ones (as I just did with the above paragraph), owning our own paradoxes and our unconscious coping mechanisms.

When my comments are indirect, I appreciate when others push for clarification.  I may become defensive at first.  But then I notice that my body feels distress.  I’ve come to know that feeling as a signal that I’m skipping over a deeper truth or a past hurt that wants my attention.

This time I recognized that I was muddled.  I didn’t understand how the dialogue got where it was or what I defending.  It wasn’t long before “the get” came and it came because I was open to it as a practice and not resisting the self-examination it required.

I was muddled because an unconscious pattern was playing out before me.  I had over-identified with another woman’s sharing and wanted to protect her by steering the conversation (indirectly) away from any real or imagined feedback that might have hints of fix-it solutions or non I-statements in them.  I am sensitive to and have felt oppressed in the past by that approach.

So was it compassion or co-dependency that caused me to feel my friend’s real or imagined discomfort and want to ward off any real or imagined deeper scrutiny coming her way?  I think the very definition of co-dependency is when we over-identify with someone else and try to protect them from feeling the effects of their circumstances.

I sat in the full body feeling/knowledge that co-dependency comes from compassion. They are mixed together. I think compassion is an asset that becomes a liability when over-used, or a positive that becomes a negative when acted on unconsciously. And in my awareness of what I learned when I veered from the personal present, I felt compassion for the co-dependent people in my life that I haven’t had much patience for.

This paradoxical understanding was just one aspect of our rich and diverse sharing.  It was one that happened in the moment, one I couldn’t have gotten to without the input from the other women present.  We were all in it together and I believe that each of us was receiving our own personal form of learning from our collective living exchange.

Shadow Shot Sunday

My son Josh’s Miata is so famous that it has its own Facebook Page, and that began when it was a red sports car and before its latest space shuttle rainbow incarnation.  Josh has a lot of creative friends who share his love of art performance and when he went to Australia for three months for a ceramics residency and to present at an international woodfire conference, he left his Miata with his friend, who then got together with other friends and used the sports car as canvas for their imagination.

They had it parked in the back of the Wedge building where Josh’s Clayspace studio is and when Josh returned and saw it, he made a remark, like “look at that Miata. That’s **** crazy!” In the same split second the realization came over him and a small voice inside his head said, “That’s mine, isn’t it?”

I might have scared the boys last weekend when they were sleeping over.  We were in the yard playing when I heard Josh pulling into the driveway.  “The rocket ship is here! The rocket ship is here!” I yelled excitedly.  Josh said about 1,000 people took pictures of him on his way from Asheville to Floyd.  The boys helped spray paint the space shuttle helmet.

The car has already been part of a professional photo shoot, and it was a big hit at the Floyd wedding that Josh came home for, for which he dressed the part.  It did get a few dings and things from all that partying, but Josh made some touch up repairs before heading back to Asheville on the highway and getting all those heads turning again.

Here’s a shot of the Miata leading a 4^th of July parade at Penland School of Crafts.  That car sure gets around, and it fits right in with all the fireworks.

Post notes: At one time both my sons had red Miatas.  Check out this blog entry, Red is Good Feng Shui, for a shot of that and some other pictures of the Miatas’ previous incarnation HERE.  And a post about Josh’s recent escapades in Australia is HERE.

1. Some people do yoga and others meditate. My practice is composing weekly 13 Thursdays. Sometimes I feel like a minister who writes and delivers a sermon each week.

2. Write Up My Alley, Honk if you Play 13 Thursday, 13 Lines Not for Fishing, The 13 Score, 13 Degrees of Spring Fever, The 13 Thursday Drum Roll, 13’s a Charm, 13 Talking Points, Breaking the 13 Sound Barrier and 13 O’Thursday are just a handful of the past titles.

3. I used to say “That’s Greek to me,” when I couldn’t understand something.  Now, in today’s high tech world, I say, “That’s Geek to me.”

4. Number 3 happens frequently because I have no tech-no-logic.

5. I call the above photo “That’s What Uncle’s Are For.” It makes even more sense when you look at the photo below of the boy’s dad napping nearby.

6. Bryce and Liam are “picking” up where their Uncle Josh left off with their love of blueberries.  Josh loved blueberries so much that for his July 10^th birthday I used to make him a blueberry pie instead of cake.  I even wrote a poem about him and blueberries, so when I heard he’d be in town for a wedding this weekend (and just home from 3 months in Australia) I texted him to say, “The blueberries are ripe!”

7. “I can see blueberry heaven,” Bryce kept saying about the blueberries he couldn’t reach.  “It’s not easy getting into heaven.  It’s so high up,” I answered.

8. What’s the difference between a podium and pulpit?

9. I think it’s fitting that the word UP is in JUMP.

10. I’ve always believed that I manifested my husband Joe with Steve Winwood’s song Higher Love, which I listened to, sang like a prayer and danced to a year before we met.  More about my kind of worship HERE.

11. When I recently heard Aretha’s Franklin’s RESPECT while shopping at the thrift shop, I felt duty bound to dance in the aisles between the racks of clothes, since I have said many times that I will get up and dance wherever and whenever I hear that song. In 2008 I was undecided about going to my 30^th class reunion when I got a call from a friend encouraging me to go.  I asked if the DJ would be playing RESPECT and was told ‘we’ll see to it.’ I went and they did play the song and we all lived happily ever after.  HERE’S the proof.

12. Note and tone are the same word like eros and rose.  Good has god in it and earth has heart.

13. This is my 451^st Thirteen Thursday entry.  My very first one was in 2005 and is HERE.

Tada!  _____________Thirteen Thursday

Wordless Wednesday

~ The following are some of the photos I took to accompany a recent story in the Floyd Press, written by the paper’s editor about the Hotel Floyd’s expansion. The narrative below comes from a piece I was commissioned to write about the expansion.  It appears in the current issue of The Floyd Magazine.

The Hotel Floyd opened in 2007 as downtown Floyd’s first green lodging establishment.  Built by Jack Wall and Kamala Bauers, it features themed rooms that showcase the music, art, mountain culture and natural beauty that is increasingly drawing visitors to Floyd.

Constructed with eco-friendly building materials, and with photovoltaic solar panels on the roof, the hotel was well received, which led to its expansion. In 2011, an electric car charger was installed on the 2 ½ acre grounds and two pet-friendly suites with full kitchens were built adjacent to the hotel’s 14-roomed original building.   In the summer of 2013, construction began on the hotel’s four-story addition and was completed in June of 2014.

The new addition includes 24 themed rooms (singles and suites), a reception lobby, a gift shop, a holistic fitness room and a conference center.   The conference center, which is available for rent, features state of the art meeting equipment and opens onto a courtyard garden, making the combination suitable for wedding receptions and other events.  A café is also housed in the new addition, providing space for the hotel to now offer continental breakfast that will incorporate locally produced food.

The hotel’s central downtown location has contributed to its popularity.  Offering boutique style and modern amenities amidst a small town setting, the hotel is within walking distance to historic sites, the Floyd Farmers Market, antique and clothing stores, fine arts and crafts shops and a town park where mountain sunsets can be enjoyed.  Artisan baked goods, farm-to-table meals, tapas, Mexican fare, brick oven pizzas, micro-brews and traditional country cooking are all available downtown.

On Thursday evenings from May to October, the hotel hosts free concerts at the Hotel Floyd gazebo bandstand.  Other live music venues are a footpath away and include Dogtown Roadhouse, Oddfellas Cantina and the world famous Floyd Country Store, a Crooked Road Heritage Music Trail destination and home of the Friday Night Jamboree, where people come from all over to enjoy traditional Appalachian music and dancing.

Nearby activities and places of interest include hiking trails, kayaking on the Little River, small farms, artists’ studios, wellness centers and wineries.  The scenic Blue Ridge Parkway with more than 40 miles running through Floyd and Floydfest, a popular five day annual music festival, are among the area’s attractions that have made the one-stoplight town of Floyd a destination.

The hotel’s themed rooms and suites are decorated by local artists, groups and businesses and reflect the creativity of the Floyd community.  The natural hardwood furniture is all made local and some of it is handcrafted. Special touches that add to the themed decors include an antique typewriter in the Floyd Writers Suite that was once used in the Bank of Floyd, a collection of framed quilt and lace crochet samples in The Old Church Gallery Suite, a handmade fiddle displayed in the Floyd Country Store Suite and lamps with honeycomb designs in the Spikenard Farm and Bee Sanctuary Room.  The Floyd Press Room features a framed montage of past top news stories, including one on Floyd NASCAR driver, Curtis Turner.

“What I think is unique about the Hotel Floyd is that it showcases the essence of Floyd.  When you travel in most communities and stay in a lodging establishment, you can’t tell where you are because everything is the same.  At the Hotel Floyd all the rooms are different and each one represents a special person, organization or place in Floyd,” said Kamala Bauers, hotel co-owner.

Photos: Hotel Floyd, Spikenard Farm and Bee Sanctuary Room, 16 Hands Artisan Room, Floyd Press Room, New Mountain Mercantile Room, Hotel Live Music Gazebo, Virginia’s Blue Ridge Music Festival Room,  Mugs in the Music Festival Room, A thread filled lamp in The School House Fabric Room, SustainFloyd Room and below Angels in the Attic Room and Hotel co-owner Kamala Bauers showing visitors the hotel courtyard.

Visit the Hotel Floyd’s website to see more photos HERE. 

_____Our World Tuesday

Poetry drives a red sports car
It takes the scenic route
It travels light with the top down
and rarely gives free rides

Poetry drives a hard bargain
It won’t settle for middle-of-the-road
It doesn’t take shortcuts
but beats the traffic
It makes up for lost time

__________Colleen Redman / dVerse Poets Pub / Real Toads

Shadow Shot Sunday

1. I had a screw loose while on a dinner date Saturday night, meaning that a literal screw came loose and fell out of my glasses.

2. Reading at the pool: “We are looking not for perfection in our partner but for a mutual exploration of imperfections.” –From Three Marriages by David Whyte

3. Only in Floyd: Church worship in rocking chairs. See HERE.

4. Heard on Fresh Air: “Raising children is an act of love as well as an act of fiction in which the characters slowly free themselves from the supposed author.” – Author David Gilbert

5. Line from the movie we watched over the weekend: “Feelings are like children. You don’t want them driving the car but you don’t want to stuff them in the trunk either.”

6. The mural in the photo above was taken during a recent trip to theTaubman Museum of Art in Roanoke and was created by Jennifer D. Anderson, a professor of art at Hollins University. The website description of the work says, “The mural presents the tenacious relationship between the natural and man-made environment as the mural itself functions as a “wall paper” with a pattern similar to those found in the formal dining rooms of Victorian homes.”

7. When I was 19, I wallpapered my bedroom with purple tissue paper from the Boston boutique I worked in. I cut-out Yellow submarine figures and pasted them around, but I didn’t go to Woodstock. See Why HERE.

8. Writing/blogging is another outlet for creativity and can be dangerous just like any art is, but hitting the nerve is what makes the most compelling art and honesty is key. Every poem or post is an aspect of the whole where the darkness and light can ebb and flow. We put it out to see it from a new perspective. ~ Comment to a friend who just started a blog and was questioning the danger of blogging/sharing one’s the inner life.

9. There was a lost chance to paint the Floyd water tower pink and make a poetic statement about a “Pink Floyd” when the iconic lead-painted landmark recently came down with a boom. See it fall HERE. 

10. Some busy bees make hives with flower petals. See their works of art HERE.

11. I could paper my walls with poems about the moon. The latest is called Commitment and goes: A bright white heart / on night’s dark sleeve / a faithful moon / proves its constancy.

12. My inclination toward introversion is a strong trait that’s tempered by my love of fun and new adventure. But for every two hours I’m out, I need about four at home to recover. In the end it’s my curiosity about people and my urge to communicate that bridges the gap between the wallflower in me and the social butterfly just waiting to fly solo again. –More from Public Speaking Phobia to Town Crier, a 2008 blog post HERE. 

13. “Words are things, I’m convinced. They get in your wallpaper. They get in your rugs, in your upholstery, in your clothes, and finally, into you. We must be careful about the words we use.” ―Maya Angelou

__________Thirteen Thursday

Wordless Wednesday

- The following first appeared in The Floyd Press on June 19, 2014.

Woodworker Ernest Bryant had a steady stream of visitors for the 2014 Floyd Artisan Trail.  Tour traffic has been growing every year, Bryant said.  This year visitors to Bryant’s home studio came from Pennsylvania, Tennessee, North Carolina, from all over Virginia and as far away as Colorado.

Along with a tour of his workshop – where he creates custom design furniture, traditional and fantasy wood carvings and antique reproductions – visitors also enjoyed strolling through a tree stump sculpture garden and an outdoor “Wood Zoo” gallery on the property that Bryant shares with artist Charlotte Atkins.  “I’ve been dragging wood out of the woods all my life,” said Bryant, as he pointed out a bank of locust stump sculptures from trees that came down during
Hurricane Hugo.

Bryant’s love of wood and his enthusiasm for working with it is evident everywhere in his surroundings. He speaks with awe about looking at the sculpture gallery in the moonlight and laments the loss of hemlock trees from the
woolly adelgid infestation.  He points out patterns made by insects on one tree limb and describes how his pet longhorn cow (which he calls a solar-powered lawn-mower) polished another smooth by rubbing against it.

“When I was about 5 years old I got a Handy Andy toolkit for Christmas.  It had a hammer, saw and mallet in it.  I’ve been doing this ever since,” remembered Bryant, who was recently selected as the Jacksonville Center’s 2104 featured artist, a program that honors some
of Floyd’s most renowned artists that are scattered throughout the hills and hollers of the county.

“I’ve been to Floyd before and love to do the Artisan Trails,” said a visitor from Lynchburg who was ready to experience Bryant’s Wood Zoo.

Many of Bryant’s pieces, like this one titled “Closet Full of Fools,” are elaborate works that grow over time and reflect his whimsical sense of humor.

Tree stumps are continually being arranged and added to, Bryant said. Some of the locust tree stumps on the backyard bank were supplied by a past Artisan Tour-goer (from Bent Mountain) who appreciated Bryant’s work.

Atkins explained that the tree sculpture garden started with the felling of a pine tree that left a stump, which became a base to hold other objects, like this mirrored garden globe that is majestically held by one tree stump and reflects the Bryant/Atkins homestead.

Bryant calls this locust tree sculpture a Geronimus.   The longhorn is either Dixie or Buddy Boy.

____________Our World Tuesday

Bright white heart
on night’s dark sleeve
A faithful moon
proves its constancy

___________Colleen Redman / Imaginary Garden with Real Toads

A Window Canvas

Bryce Thinks it Looks Like an Umbrella

Hitchhiker

Good Guys and Bad Guys

Be Yourself

Liam Likes Paintbrushes

I’m Getting Good Ideas for Christmas Presents

Trip to The Taubman/ Video clip HERE ________Shadow Shot Sunday

Well, they’ve only been open for little over a month, so it’s no wonder they’re one of the best kept secrets in Floyd.  I tried it out yesterday for the first time (got there right before they closed) and found you can fill your spoon at the  Fat Spoon with some of the tastiest food in town from their all-you-can-eat lunch buffet.  The best part was that I could bring Joe home a to-go carton full of the same, and for only $6.

The chef at Fat Spoon was recently the head chef at Chateau Morrisette Winery before he opened his own place in the old Cross Creek building.  He recommended the baked fish and crawfish in a tasso gravy sauce, and he was right.  I was in heaven.

I also enjoyed the citrus roasted chicken that was falling off the bone and the cooked greens (kale) mix, along with talking with Sarah, the restaurant’s new business manager and the daughter of a good friend.

I had already eaten the gourmet good cooking at the Long Fin Food truck, which is owned by the Fat Spoon chef and run by another chef, Chiron, who is the son of another good friend. The Long Fin is also in the old Cross Creek complex.

I like the outdoor picnic table atmosphere and hear that the scene will soon include music from the parked boat.

Chiron mixes up a medley of flavors that are new to me.  I’ve especially been enjoying his (very affordable) fresh seafood dishes.

I also stopped in at the new Wee-Cycle (two doors down from the Fat Spoon), a resale shop for children’s clothes and toys (which also carries women’s clothes).  I had a look around, met the owner and her children.

The large pink dollhouse being played with by Lily (above) brought out the girl in me, the girl that always wanted but never got a dollhouse.

Another best kept secret in Floyd is the 3:30 adult swim at the Great Oaks Country Club Pool, where I sometimes have the whole pool to myself for half-an-hour. Gotta burn off some of the gourmet all-you-can-eat good eats, you know.  The summer is on!

1. Wedge, hedge and ledge all have an edge in them.

2. The wood thrush is my Hans Christian Anderson’s Nightingale in shining armour (and that misspelling of armor was a Freudian slip that I chose to keep).

3. I call the photo above of my first wood thrush photo capture “It’s So Nice to Put a Face with a Song.” Listen HERE.

4. Studies show that grandparents who baby-sit are less likely to develop Alzheimer’s. See HERE.

5. I’ve never read Maya Angelou’s I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings but I think it’s one of the best book titles around.

6. I once went on a solo writing retreat without a dictionary or a thesaurus, which is a little like going shopping without any form of currency to buy stuff with.

7. You can quote me: Say what you mean and mean what you say but don’t say it mean.

8. Comment from my blog friend and poet Pearl in 2008 blog post: Poets get jaded and write poems about writing poems and against poets who write poems about poems. This is laryngitis with a font.

9. Favorite video of the week, featuring the guys who are keeping me from getting Alzheimer’s: Get Up Offa That Thing because I Feel Good HERE.

10. Only in Floyd: Over the weekend I strolled in a Wood Zoo (Floyd Press story
coming), ate gourmet food from a food truck, watched women simulating birthing in the play BIRTH and checked out the opening of the Jax’s 2014 juried art show.  Cleo Keller, who works with Joe at Floyd’s Springhouse Community high school, won a $200 second place prize for the fabric art piece, called Pipe Organ, pictured above being admired by my friends Ashera and Luke.

11. I also documented a homemade obstacle course that involved a mini-trampoline, sword sticks, a squirt gun, hula hoops, a wheel barrow, net and more. It was a course that Joe (who is also not getting Alzheimer’s) couldn’t get past level 2 of, even when he Face-timed eldest son Josh for help and they ran it together. See HERE.

12. “Anything that works against you can also work for you once you understand the Principle of Reverse.” ~ Maya Angelou

13. Speaking of birdsong, OMG! Where has THIS been all my life?

_____Thirteen Thursday

Wordless Wednesday

Time with our grandsons seems to slip through my hands like sand through an hourglass.  At six and three, they change so fast, and I find myself trying to soak up everything about them.  I imagine that I’ll follow them around and write down the amazing things they say, but the chaos of life and the whirlwind of attending their needs takes over to the point that after they leave, I barely remember anything that just happened.

I’m always amazed at how much they learn in one day, how many questions they ask and how many words are brand new to them. “Liam, can you pass that white pointy thing? It’s called a funnel.”  He and Bryce learned the new word “smorgasbord” at our picnic table lunch. Bryce learned what fragile and cherish mean long ago.

And they also teach us.  We talked about the Periodic Table, an image that Bryce had on his Minecraft t-shirt.  It wasn’t a real table, like Bryce first thought.  He suggested we call it Periodic Chart so people wouldn’t get confused. He also corrected Hopa Joe when they were reading a book about the metamorphosis of  a butterfly and Joe called a pupa a poopa.  That got good laugh.

At the pool, Bryce wanted to know why the men’s room sign began with a P (pirates)
and the women’s room began with an M (mermaids). There were no pictures to give
hints.

Back at home, both boys spent a long time making an obstacle course that involved swords, a squirt gun,  hula hoops, a wheel barrow, net and more.  It was a course that Hopa couldn’t get past level 2 of, even when he face-timed Uncle Josh for help and they ran it together.

Liam is hungry now, but the words “cookie” and “jerky” come out sounding exactly the same.  He does a little dance and uses a sing-song voice every time he asks for “peanut butter balls.”   He loves to make others laugh and starts making faces by pulling down his eyelids and sticking out his tongue.  Bryce wants to know, if we pulled down all sides of our lids would our eyes fall out?

Really. You just can’t make this stuff up.

________Our World Tuesday

Shadow Shot Sunday