Loose Leaf Notes

It’s only a matter of time before I spill tea on my new white shirt.

Before my one-year-old grandson is old enough to sleep over.

Before I teach my step-granddaughter jump rope songs from the 60’s.

Before I forget and leave the house without makeup on my one white eyebrow

Before I write a poem about the mountains.

Before I have carpal tunnel.

Before I visit New Orleans (after hearing about how much my son Josh loves it there)

Before I eat Swiss chard from the garden.

Before I get confused while trying to call my mother because our numbers are so much alike and I get that poor woman from Hull who I call by mistake and who knows me by my first name now.

How about you?

Posted by Colleen at 11:23 PM | Permalink | Comments (12)

My Grandmother came to America to be a servant … and then have 11 children for the Catholic Church … “Jesus, Mary and Joseph!” ~ From a 2007 Poetry Reading where I make use of an Irish brogue while reading my poem, titled “My Grandmother’s Brouge.” Hear it HERE.

Although writing language down can be likened to trying to possess a butterfly, the Irish, steeped in the oral tradition of their poets, bards, and druids, embraced written language once they were finally exposed to it. To the Irish, who were said to have invented rhyme, language was a living entity and the alphabet was magical. ~More on the Irish and language HERE.

When I went to Ireland in 1997 to visit my grandmother’s hometown, I learned more about myself there than I could have in 10 years of psycho-therapy. The majority of the Irish people I met reminded me of my own family. I saw the faces of my aunts, uncles, cousins, and siblings in their faces. And that’s not all. The Irish tend to be unpretentious, playful, tender-hearted, nostalgic, self-directed, and not overtly ambitious. They are often self-deflecting, something that can be endearing but it can also border on an inferiority complex. And I thought these traits were unique to my own family. ~ From Thirteen O’Thursday HERE.

“Say Green!” someone called out as Max Charnley snapped a photo of spoken word performers at the Café Del Sol this past Saturday night. Because the Open Mic, scheduled every third Saturday, was on St. Patrick’s Day this month many in attendance were donned in green clothing. I wore a sage green sweater that was purchased in Ireland and had the word “Blarney” sewed in the tag. “I don’t know whether blarney refers to a bunch of baloney or the gift of eloquence. It’s probably something in between,” I joked. ~ From Say Green! More HERE.

In the name of the Mother … the Sun and the Holy Wells … Ireland is a green kite … let go by the fairies … Landed in the ocean … and anchored by rock. ~ Read the whole “Ireland Loves Me, She Loves Me Not” poem HERE.

When Kathleen arrived, we questioned her choice of green, a pale mint, but she redeemed herself when she proudly pointed out the family heirloom pinned to her vest. It was an antique political button that said “Donal J. O’Callaghan, Mayor of Cork” with a black and white photo of the mayor himself. ~ From “The Charlie’s Angels of Scrabble: Play one for St. Patrick,” HERE.

Photo: The Harbor Express Ferry from Hull to Boston’s Logan airport was decorated for St. Patrick’s Day.

Posted by Colleen at 10:44 PM | Permalink | Comments (10)

~ The following year review was done by excerpting the first line in one post of each month. You can click on the name of the month for a full accounting.

January – Warming up for a game with my poet friend, Mara, I put the Scrabble box by the woodstove after it sat in the back seat of the car overnight. “I hope you’re dressed warm,” I said to her, holding the phone in one hand and pushing a log in the woodstove with the other.

February – He replaced the belt on the vacuum cleaner for me. I left him a pink valentine bag on the kitchen table the night before with a card and a Sunkist naval orange inside. He responded with a conversation candy heart of his own. “Call Me," it said.

March – I’m full to capacity from working on a major, long piece of writing. Only flashes of poetry and sketches of words with no goals are allowed on today’s word diet. When I finally slowed down enough, and emptied myself of distraction, this is what I saw: Joe in his camouflaged overalls and wool hat, coming back from the mailbox, standing still in the middle of the dirt road driveway reading our finished tax forms with the dog at his feet, drinking from a puddle.

April – "This is getting to be a real good smelling poetry reading,” said visiting poet Jim Webb in reference to the scent of popcorn coming from the front of the Floyd Country Store.

May – For a small window of time in the spring, three blooms converge in a symphony of color in the corner of my yard. Dogwood, azalea, and baby irises come in one after the other, and for a week or two they co-exist together like the colorful layered fruit of an English trifle.

June – At the beach Joe said to me, “I’m so glad you introduced me to naps, baths, and beaches.” Yeah, that about sums me up.

July – The Blue Fairy makes wishes come true. It’s a tall order, but she can handle it. She walks on stilts.

August – In this day of theme parks with rides like the Tower of Terror and Disney mouse and duck characters posing for photo-ops, I’m relieved there are still parks where real ducks can be fed and where you can ride around a weeping willow lined lagoon on a peddle boat with a giant swan on it.

September – This is the time of year when I put on socks, and the butter in the butter dish is no longer the consistency of mayonnaise.

October – Mud on potatoes dries to dirt in the sun, spilling from a bucket like a cornucopia overflowed. In the garden, a few tomatoes struggle to turn red but only make it to bright orange – the same color as the potted mums on the porch table, a $3 grocery store purchase for October’s yearly anniversary.

November – Snow flurries. Cold wind whips. We pull up our goose down hoods. Joe shakes the tree like it’s a piñata full of gifts. Red apples tumble to the ground. I run to collect them like a girl on Christmas morning, marveling at the magic of each one.

December – Things move fast in the world according to Bryce. One week he’s repeatedly sticking out his tongue, the next week he’s eating bananas. One week he’s teething on toys and shaking rattles, the next he’s all about his new Playschool bus. So I guess I’ll be trading in the rattle I bought him for Christmas for something with four wheels.

Posted by Colleen at 9:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)

Purple haze all in my brain
Lately things just don't seem the same

Actin funny, but I don't know why
scuse me while I kiss the sky

Purple haze all around
Don’t know if I’m comin’ up or down

Am I happy or in misery?
What ever it is, that girl put a spell on me

Purple haze all in my eyes
Don’t know if its day or night

You got me blowin, blowin my mind
Is it tomorrow, or just the end of time?

Post notes: We recently had some company in our yard: Jade in purple hair, his sister Lotus in a purple skirt, and their mom Tamra who came to practice martial arts with Joe. See the video wherein Tamra steals the show HERE.

Posted by Colleen at 8:33 AM | Permalink | Comments (9)

I enjoy the distillation of words. I believe less is best, and when writing I try to leave out the parts that most people skip (as recommended by novelist Elmore Leonard). I love the one line poem, the picture that's worth a thousand words, and cutting back the rose so more blooms will grow. But the meme Pearl recently tagged me for – to write a six word memoir – was a challenge I initially tried to avoid because it seemed nearly impossible to abbreviate my life to that degree.

The meme was inspired by the book, Not Quite What I Was Planning: Six-Word Memoirs by Writers Famous & Obscure, which was inspired by Hemingway’s alleged six word story, “For Sale: baby shoes, never worn.” The book is a collection of almost 1,000 six word memoirs, including those of celebrities, such as Steven Colbert. “Well, I thought it was funny,” his reads. Other ones I like, found at the Smith Magazine website, where the memoirs were culled from: “Anything is possible with an extension cord,” Billy Sirr; “Proof that potheads can be somebody,” by Green Bean; and "Manhattan raised. Three kids? Hello, Jersey," by Dano.

Maybe this is cheating. I wrote more than one memoir. Read together; could be a poem. Everything is suspect; counting every word.

Once I started, I couldn’t stop:
Six word memoirs in sixteen parts

Backseat poet; the muse is driving
Gidget goes Woodstock; ends up country

Barefoot homebody; gets lost in cities
Still hangs laundry on the line

Techno phobic blogger mainlines computer
Is there rehab for tea drinkers?

Love me but leave me alone
Doesn’t do knick knacks or math

Fifty-six and never been in high-heels
Lies about age; just one year

College drop out; flunked middle class
I’d rather be looking through kaleidoscopes

Field note taker; writes on hand
Yields to children; brakes for flowers

Always preparing the ultimate travel wardrobe
Time to turn over; I’m done

I’m tagging Deana, Claudia, Bonnie, and Country Dew, June, and you. No one should feel the need to write as many as I did. Most players have just written one.

Posted by Colleen at 9:35 AM | Permalink | Comments (25)

The following is by no means an exclusive list of my loves and hates, just the ones that came to me in the moment, after Deana passed on the following meme questions to me.

I love to eat: My farm fresh egg man Ed is number one on my speed dial, so that should tell you something. I also like to eat vegetables I’ve grown in my garden.

I hate to eat: Processed foods and potlucks with not enough protein served because too many carbs make me terribly tired. I hate to eat store bought, so called party food, salad dressings with sugar in them, and olives.

I hate to go: To yet another yearly CPR class, the dentist, or the hospital. I hate to go anywhere near a city when I’m driving.

I love to go: Barefoot because it means it’s warmed up. I especially love to go barefoot on the sand at the ocean. I love to go for days on end without any commitments scheduled.

I love it when: I finish a story I’ve been working on; The story I was working on comes out in the paper and there are no typos in it; I wake up in the middle of the night and feel Joe’s presence and am grateful for all he does and who he is. I love it when I dream about my brothers and my dad (who have passed away), or dream about my sons as little boys and hear their sweet child voices again.

I hate it when: My back goes out; My computer breaks down; I think I may have hurt someone’s feelings; I don’t have the energy to do what I want to do; and when the networks run reruns and it isn’t even summer.

I love to see: A thrift shop bargain in just the right fabric, color and size. I love a good PBS special that I didn’t know was on and I just happen upon. The last one I saw was “The Jewish American.” Before that it was “Pioneers in Television,” and Ken Burns’ “The War.” I love to see the numbers go down on the scale, the sunset, a starry night sky, the inside of a kaleidoscope, and Target Ads on TV.

I hate to see: My dog full of burdock burrs, squirrels at the bird feeder, ads selling drugs on TV like they were the latest fashion, corporations that put profit over people’s health, the rising rates of autism, and the Bush administration not being held accountable for misleading the country into the Iraq invasion.

I love to hear: The sound of the woodstove blower on a cold morning when I’m still in bed and I realize that Joe stoked the fire before going off to work. I love to hear birdsong, children playing, a warm breeze rustling the tree branches, a song that makes me get up and dance, and the letter V.

I hate to hear: “It’s your turn to drive,” or my Asheville potter son Josh say, “Mom, my fingers are being held together by super glue. (He said that to me once when he was working too much.) I also hate to hear “That’s not a word,” when I’m playing Scrabble, the dog barking at the moon in the middle of the night, and people yelling at their kids.

Note: Feel free to say what you love and don't in a comment, or tell me if you do this meme so I can come by and read. In the Meme-time, I’m tapping Bonnie, Country Dew, Sarah and Pearl to do this one if they feel so inclined.

Posted by Colleen at 8:55 PM | Permalink | Comments (25)

A glance at 2007 in review can be done by taking the first line (or two) from the first blog post of every month in the year. Read the whole post by clicking on the link embedded in the months, or read the lines together like stanzas in a found poem.

January
It seems I go out these days just for an excuse to show off my new purple knit scarf, or to eat cookies.

February
Do you know any of THESE bloggers?

March
Sometimes the waxing moon looks like a high heeled glass slipper with a missing heel, as it did this past weekend when I peered out of my window at midnight and wondered if Cinderella made it home in time.

April
The menu consisted of basmati rice, steamed greens, and venison sautéed with onions. The conversation mostly revolved around garden plans.

May
The night stars the moon.

June
Building community, brick by brick: At our April ceremony honoring elder women in our community, one of the women was addressing the crowd of about seventy about the importance of community. At one point, she looked directly at me and said, “I have one of Josh’s bricks. I use it as a doorstop!”

July
Turns out my dad had the best room in the house. In the past when I visited him and my mom I slept in the small third floor attic bedroom that could double for a sauna on hot summer nights. Now that he’s gone, my mother has set me up in his room on the second floor. Not only is it cool and breezy because of the windows cross ventilation, but I recently discovered that I can pick up free wireless from the bed.

August
Floyd Fest, our town’s yearly world music festival, is a people watchers paradise. My favorite part of the weekend festival - just six miles from my driveway on The Blue Ridge Parkway - is the cross section of people who attend it. Once on the sprawling grounds of open fields and wooded pathways, roles and differences tend to fall away, as people of all walks of life and ages speak the same language of “fun.”

September
My husband went to a Red Sox baseball game and all I got was this T-shirt.

October
While in Virginia Beach, we visited the A.R.E. complex (Association of Research and Enlightenment), founded to carry on the work of Edgar Cayce. We picked up wireless in their library and had lunch in the meditation garden by a pond. The pink water lilies were in bloom and large gold fish swam between them.

November
When something exciting happens and Joe hears me say, “Now that’s something to write home about!” he knows it means I’m going to blog about it.

December
My hand is walking across the page. It gets more exercise than my legs these days. But I fantasize about long walks through deserts where my life depends on my ability to do it.

Post notes: I most recently saw this done HERE. Let me know if you try this on your blog so I can come over to read.

Posted by Colleen at 9:54 AM | Permalink | Comments (17)

The following was passed on to me by Smiler. I considered just copying and pasting her answers because so many of them sounded so much like me. But I figured that would be cheating. Here’s what I came up with.

Name six guilty pleasures no one would suspect you of having:
1. Sunbathing without sunscreen (or clothes for that matter). What we put on our skin gets absorbed into our body, and I know the ingredients in sunscreen are things that I wouldn’t want to eat. Some studies link the use of sunscreen to increased cancer rates and others point to the fact that regular use contributes to Vitamin D deficiencies. Besides that, some brands make my face swell up.

2. Fat. I like butter, gravy, sautéed onions and peppers soaked in olive oil, and more. I used to think I needed to curb my fat intake so I wouldn’t get fat, but then I started eating all I wanted to and realized that because fats stay in your stomach longer, I was more satisfied, didn’t crave sweets, over eat, or snack on empty carbohydrates; all things that DO make me gain weight.

3. Reading the obituaries in our local paper to collect interesting old country names. Some of my latest finds for women’s names are: Cova, Gusti, Velvia, Gluwana, Zula, Zephine, Nelda, Nova, and Patience. For men: Orbie, Oakley, Weldon, Squire, Oriet, Garver, Kermith, Ellis, and Kline. More HERE.

4. Thrift shopping. Like when I saw the pink pants THIS guy had on, I headed for the thrift shop the next day. Thrift shopping is my version of playing the lottery. Sometimes I strike it rich with some really nice quality clothes, but if they don’t work out, or I get bored with them, I just bring them back; no big loss.

5. Expensive French soaps, silk nightgowns, merino wool socks, high quality dark chocolate; all those good luxuries I didn’t have growing up that I think are staples now.

6. I love Candid Camera type humor. I don’t like to see supposedly funny videos of people falling and crashing into things. I don’t like to see people punked with mean practical jokes, but I do like to watch people in bizarre scenarios and see how they react, and THIS sort of stuff cracks me up.

Name six guilty pleasures you wish you had the courage (or in my case energy) to indulge:
1. Become a go-go dancer in a cage.

2. Drive the camper to the coast by myself and live on the beach anonymously for a month without a clock.

4. Become a detective who busts political criminals, like those who have stolen elections through easily hacked electronic voting machines and other underhanded practices.

2. Adopt a few homeless children.

5. Go to L.A., meet and interview some celebrities, then go to the Academy Awards in a “money is no object” gown and sit in-between Susan Sarandon and Jeff Bridges.

6. Host a radio talk show.

Name six pleasures you once considered guilty but have now either abandoned or made peace with:
1. Drawing mustaches and bad hairdos on famous faces in magazines.

2. I use to like to adjust the rear view mirror so I could admire my sons when we were driving. I still like to stare at them in awe and amazement, but they, now adults, catch on quick and don’t let me do it for long.

3. Blogging. I used to worry about the time I spent on the computer but now I just let it run its course. I’ve instructed my family and friends not to ask me how much time I spend on the computer each day, but to ask instead how many hours I spend writing each day.

4. TV in the bedroom. It started when I was doing foster care and needed a place to go to retreat behind a closed door, but I’ve gotten used to it, enjoy it now, and I don’t care who knows.

5. I’ve almost stopped feeling guilty about occasionally throwing away the peanut butter jar without washing it out for recycling.

6. Reading People magazine and knowing I can finish a People magazine Crossword puzzle, but can’t finish a New York Times one.

Post notes: Let me know if you play so I can come read your answers. I'm tagging Deana, June, Susan, and Pris.

Posted by Colleen at 10:07 PM | Permalink | Comments (20)

For ten years or so I taught creative writing classes at Floyd’s Blue Mountain School, a parent run cooperative with early roots in Rudolph Steiner. I taught several classes to kids from about four to fourteen once a week in exchange for a portion of tuition for my own sons who were students there. Over the years the kids and I produced a monthly newsletter called The Dolphin Messenger and a yearly calendar that showcased their art, poetry, and prose. The Dolphin Messenger included interviews, cartoons, crossword puzzles, advertisements, quotes, group stories and poems, along with stories and poetry that the kids created. They took turns designing elaborate front covers using stamps from an extensive collection I had. One regular feature in the newsletter called “What’s it Like?” was something I came up to shift the kids from linear thinking into the creative abstract. I cut out a selection of unusual magazine photos (mostly from old National Geographics) and had each kid describe what it was like. The goal was not to guess what it was but to describe what it was like.

After seeing how the above photo came out I found myself playing the game and thought it would be fun to get other’s answers to “What’s it Like?” I’ll add my answer after a while.

Posted by Colleen at 3:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (17)

Musing Woman recently mused on her five strengths as a writer and asked me to do the same. Although most of us aren’t very comfortable pointing out what we’re good at, it seems like a useful exercise to affirm five strengths rather than five deadly sins or weaknesses. Here’s what I came up with:

1. Writing is like dousing for a natural resource. I’m not afraid to dig deep and hit a nerve. In fact, I’m not satisfied until I do. By a nerve, I mean a vein of emotion that shows me that I’m about to mine a truth.

2. I can’t process a lot of extraneous information in one sitting. Being this way has helped me not to over-write or over-explain. When I write, I say what I mean and try not to clutter my writing with what I don’t mean. I have two favorite quotes on writing advice that I use nearly every day. The first came by way of novelist, Elmore Leonard, when he said, “Leave out the parts that most people skip.” The other was by John Holt, author and homeschooling pioneer. He said, “The writer’s first job is to be understood.”

3. I love words. It’s my kind of play. I love the way they look and sound, the way they can be put together in surprising combinations to make things happen. Loving words is good for a writer, like loving one’s partner is good for a marriage.

4. Many years of writing poetry has been a good training for developing a sense of structure that can translate into other kinds of writing. Through writing poetry, I learned the importance of opening and concluding lines, sound and rhythm, bridging thoughts together to create meaning. I’m good at looking at one thing and seeing how it is like something else and reading and writing in ways other than from left to right.

5. Ultimately, the technical part of writing can always be worked on, but you can’t invent a voice. My writer’s voice is stream of consciousness language that I can trace back to my childhood. It’s untamed and seems to come from the underworld. I’ve learned to yield and listen to it. It’s the raw material of writing, that once collected into notes, I'm compelled to make something of.

What are your five strengths as a writer? Feel free to answer in a comment. If you choose to do this meme and post the answers, let me know so I can come by and read them. Also, I’m tagging Bonnie, Pearl, Vesper, June, and Leesa for this meme. Check out "Who is a Writer?" HERE.

Posted by Colleen at 9:34 AM | Permalink | Comments (25) | TrackBacks (1)

Hold on to your hat and Click HERE for my video contribution to the Sunday Scribblings subject of HAIR starring me and my sister Sherry.

Posted by Colleen at 1:46 PM | Permalink | Comments (14)

FOLLOW THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD HERE ...

Posted by Colleen at 10:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

There’s an interview meme weaving its way through the blogsphere. It recently landed here. Deana posed the first five questions and Naomi the next five. Q&A as follows:

1. If there was one place that you and Joe could go in this world and explore for a few weeks where would you go? All expenses paid of course.......and why? Joe tells me not to say Hawaii because it’s more touristy than I think. So I say Alaska and he counters with New Zealand. We both agree that as far as this fantasy goes the key word is “explore” and that we are both interested in the wilderness. But then, just this morning I had a conversation with a woman who has a house on the coast of Brittany, France. We talked about doing a woman’s vacation there, hiking a pilgrimage, exploring a nearby castle, taking a train to Paris, and of course there is always the French food (!!). The last time I was briefly in Paris, I was young and poor and walked right past the Louvre. So maybe I’d like to explore France as seen by Renoir and Monet.

2. If they told you tomorrow that you had been banned from writing for one year...no exceptions...how do you think you'd fill that void in your life? This reminds me of the old Twilight Zone episode where a very chatty guy is promised a large amount of money if he can go a year without talking. He wins the bet (but sadly never receives the money) by having his tongue cut off! I can guarantee you that I would not cut off my fingers because I’d need them to express myself in ways other than writing. Since I think with my hands, I suspect I would turn to drawing and doodling. I’d make more collages that include cut out words from magazines. I’d also invest in a good recorder to dictate my thoughts into (although I have tried this before and it didn’t work for me).

3. If every couple in the world could make their own rainbows over their homes for the world to see, colors that swirled and defined who they were individually and together, what colors would be over your home? and why? (choose 5 please). When Joe came to Floyd to be a Blue Mountain School teacher, I was newly divorced and renting a big farmhouse. One of my roommates at the time moved out and Joe needed a place to live, so we were roommates first. One day, not long after he moved in, we were sitting close to each other on the couch when my niece (also a roommate) came in and described this vibrant blue color that she saw above our heads (chemistry meets premonition). Years later we were married and sat for a wedding portrait (photos HERE). The artist, isa maria, painted a bright blue swath of color above our heads, so I’m pretty sure there is a rainbow over Joe and I and our home, one that comes in all shades of blue: royal, lapis, turquoise, indigo, periwinkle, teal (with some shades of purple in the mix).

4. What is the one chance you once had in your lifetime that you honestly regret not taking? why? I wish I had gone to Woodstock. I had friends that went and had planned to go. My reason for not going was a good one, but still, even with all that rain and mud, I regret not seeing Janis Joplin sing before she died and taking part in such a monumental generational event.

5. I have to ask this one of everyone....if you were President of the United States of America what 2 things would you do that you felt would save this country?...(you have complete control here ) .....why? I would create a new system of a gradual transition between outgoing and incoming administrations. I think the outgoing president should help the new president get up to speed and that they both should work together for the good of all for at least six months. I think it’s pretty risky to put so much power in the hands of one man, so I would set up a rotating bipartisan presidential counsel that consisted of women, elders, poets, artists, minorities, and working class people. Presidents would be obliged to consult with the counsel on a regular basis and before making big decisions.

The next five questions were asked by Naomi:

1. If you were told you had six months to live, how would you spend it? I would probably stop the time-consuming discipline of daily blogging. I would write letters to each person I love and tell them how I feel and why. I would stop collecting stuff and start giving stuff away. I would hire a house cleaner and eat out more (only in the best restaurants), so I wouldn’t have to spend so time doing daily chores. I would contemplate what it means to be human, travel to places of beauty, and spend more time at the ocean. I might plan my own death rite of passage. I would spend as little time as possible in a hospital and as much time as possible in the presence of those I love. I would kiss my adult sons like they were children again and make Joe play Scrabble with me.

2. You have been awarded a Fabulous Fantasy Dinner, anywhere in the world that your heart desires and money is no object. Where would it be and please describe in detail the 5 course meal that you would be having, including wines, etc. I’m thinking Italy, some kind of pasta dish with fresh seafood and olive oil, garlic, fresh mozzarella, tomatoes, and basil and capers. But, I can’t drink red wine, so what am I doing in Italy? Do they have good white wine? Can I ride on a gondola?

3. The Circus has come to town and you can "perform" in any part of it you would like....What would you choose and why? I love wearing a mask and the freedom I feel when no one knows who I am. At one point in my life I really wanted to be a clown and even had my sister Kathy make me a clown suit. In the spirit of the court jester and the Lakota heyoka, I’d probably be a clown, but not your average Bozo.

4. Sometimes there is a defining moment in one's life...or what Oprah calls "That Aha! Moment'....what was yours and how did it change the course of your life? As I came to understand (through personal experience and learning about quantum physics) that all of creation is one thing, with each part affecting each other part, I began to take more personal responsibility for the role I was playing in the collective. I realized that Science and Religion are not so at odds with each other and that the main thing that separates the followers of each is semantics. I knew that someone else’s successes would uplift and benefit me, just as my successes would uplift and benefit them. Our tragedies are also ultimately shared. Knowing this has made me more tolerant of others and has increased my capacity to care about them and the world.

5. Have you ever lied to someone you love and then regretted it...? Explain please. No lie that I can think of, but I have at times held back the truth. I’m always disappointed in myself when I’m not brave enough to be completely honest. I believe the truth has a presence that affects us whether we acknowledge it or not. Not speaking the truth when you know it can stifle the life force of all involved. Acknowledging it is a relief, since it’s there affecting us anyways. When we tell the truth it frees us to move on.

For those who want to play:
1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview Me".
2. I will respond by asking you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your weblog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Posted by Colleen at 8:11 AM | Permalink | Comments (15)

My writing is an extension of and a way to organize my thinking. I'm more of a thinker than a writer. For me, writing is the natural final product that results from thinking. I think! ~ Comment recently made by Colleen to Kim (a thinking blogger).

I’d like to thank Blue Mountain Mama – who said my writing helps keep her in touch with her inner bohemian free-spirit – Ruth, and Carmen for naming me as a recipient of the “Thinking Blogger Award.”

The award, which has been traversing the blogsphere and originated HERE, comes with a challenge. Those who have been awarded are asked to name five others to pass the “thinking blogger” torch on to.

I read other people’s blogs for many reasons. I enjoy good quality writing, appreciate humor, and love it when the two are mixed. Sometimes I’m drawn to a blog to get a glimpse into a lifestyle unlike my own, or because I’m attracted to the blogger’s personality. I also read to learn, to be inspired, and to look at pretty pictures. Here are the five blogs I’ve chosen for the Thinking Blogger award because they make me think:

Simply Wait: Patry bakes pies for the muse and hosts the 3rd day book club. I first came to her blog through the lure of her waitress poetry. She got my attention when she revealed in her first comment on Loose Leaf that she remembered Paragon Park, the now defunct amusement park in the small Massachusetts beach town I grew up in. When I discovered that she grew up in Brockton, my maternal grandmother’s hometown, our blogging friendship (from my point of view) was sealed. I walk the Cape Cod shoreline vicariously through Patry, and recently followed her on a west coast book tour to promote her first novel, Liar’s Diary. She ponders life’s questions and encourages dialogue with her readers. This waitress turned novelist has an infectious sense of play and her writing is flawless.

Humanyms: Pearl has fun with words. She plays a glad game, loves poetry, architecture, and cooking. She passes on an endless supply of interesting links and thoughtful quotes. Her words skip, skim, and sink-in because of her playful poet's perspective. Where else would you find the following: Brain runneth over. It bobs about. Maybe it’s the rain from all night and all morning displacing it like a cork. Thank goodness for the cap of bones or the brain might wash away entirely and we couldn’t have it running down the streets on its own, its grey getting all gritty and salty in the sopped rivulets getting carried away downhill. The lobes might get lodged in the sewer grate with it mutely wiggling and jerking to free itself before the crocodiles.

Chronicles from Hurricane Country: Elissa’s range of interests span from as far up as the night sky to as low as the smallest bugs that crawl at our feet. Creatively prolific, I view her as part scientist and part poet. I love to go on virtual walks with her and her partner Mary by way of her photographs. She, a one time Bostonian now living in Florida, sings, makes beautiful collages, and has been a published writer since she was a teenager. She recently signed a book contract and was posting about her writing background when she made this wise remark: “I've always felt my freelance work is better than a free education because it's an education I get paid for.”

Carbon Press: Josephine’s current blog mission statement reads: “I'm going to drive my beat up old Honda Civic until it dies.” She’s a cancer survivor and advocate who has offered her help to others navigating through the ordeal of cancer treatments. She doesn’t shrink from revealing her real and sometimes raw emotions. Her writing is fresh. It surprises and makes me want more. In a recent post called “Ectoplasmic Is My New Favorite Word,” she wrote, Green tinted the breeze as a stormfront moved in yesterday. Chartruese pollen. Ectoplasmic green. My black car has been margarita green for two weeks. Live oak trees have thousands of neon green chandelier earings dangling from budding branches. Loblolly pines are puffing tufts of mitochondrial green clouds like crotchety old dragons huffing out snorts of smoke.

Open Book: Jennifer was voted 'Most Mischievous' her senior year of high school, has never seen a Star Wars or James Bond movie, and was once introduced to a drag queen by her uncle. “She was stunning. I was stunned. For a moment,” Jennifer explained. Her blog is “based on a true story,” and her writer’s voice is a natural one that entertains and engages. Her inventive blog titles tease you to read and you’re never sorry when you do. The last time I looked, Jennifer was on a blog sabbatical, but you can flip through her spilled ink archives, listed on the margins of her Open Book.

Post note: Oh! It's 11:00 and I haven't had breakfast. All this linking has stopped me from thinking and eating. I'll be back soon to proof this!

Posted by Colleen at 10:59 AM | Permalink | Comments (16)

~ The following is a year end review using Loose Leaf excerpts that were taken from each month of 2006. Click the link if you want to read the post in its entirety or to view accompanying photos.

January – A Neighborly Visit: I returned to the humble hand-built studio home of my recluse friend Acourt in October to return the farm journal I had borrowed from him. The property he lives on was once a popular 60’s-style commune, and the journal is a large leather bound book that holds drawings and written entries from 30 years of the farm’s history. Always interested in human nature and social science, I borrowed the journal to learn more about the farm’s history and, apparently, to reminisce. I found myself and my son, Josh, in it, from a 1986 entry, when we first moved to Floyd. ~ Read more HERE.

February - Your Place or mine: I used to think something was wrong with me, but now I just accept it. I’m not your hostess type. Burning pots on the stove and letting the housework go while being distracted by poetry is something I’ve always been upfront about and even confessed to in my wedding vows when my husband and I got married ten years ago on the Blue Ridge Parkway. My close friends know that if I attend a potluck, I’m more likely to bring a bag of corn chips than a homemade casserole or a pie. But I make it up to them with my yearly Christmas Eve Open House. With one fell swoop and a platter full of cookies, I get my hosting out of the way for the year. ~ Read more HERE.

March - Open for Funny Business: It was noon when Mara and I set up our makeshift office and scrabble game station in the corner of the Café Del Sol. The last time we played we did so without a net, which meant that neither of us brought a dictionary. On this day, we not only had a dictionary but our notebooks, pens, books, and eventually our plates of food, were spread out in all directions. Mara’s daughter, Kayla, who sat at the table next to ours, was doing a home schooling assignment in a workbook. We kept an empty chair nearby for visitors, some of whom were scheduled to drop by. ~ Read more HERE.

April: Friends in High Places: A day spent in Floyd – the one stoplight rural town I live in – can be as exciting as time spent in any big city, as far as I’m concerned. On Friday I had lunch at Oddfellas Cantina with two amazingly accomplished women, sold 10 books (The Jim and Dan Stories), and got invited to go to the New Orleans Jazz Festival – complete with a backstage pass – all in the matter of a couple of hours. ~ Read more HERE.

May – I Got Interviewed by Terry Gross! My Terry Gross is young, has long straight blonde hair, looks a little like the actress Laura Linney, and doesn’t wear glasses. This Terry Gross – the real one who produces and hosts National Public Radio’s interview talk show “Fresh Air” – is petite to the point of looking like Mary Martin playing the role of Peter Pan. She has short cropped hair, wears glasses, and is in her late 50s. ~ Read more HERE.

June- It’s Summer! Slipping under the black netting nailed to a wooden frame that protects my blueberry plants from birds, I picked berries for the first time this year. It was dusk and a firefly was in there with me. A slight sultry breeze offered a momentary break from the day’s oppressive heat. As I strained my eyes to see and reached for the ripest and bluest ones, I noticed that my arms were tired from swimming earlier that day. ~ Read more HERE.

July – Me and D: One of the ways I prepare myself to go through life passages is to look through my old photo albums and other memorabilia. I don’t decide to do it. It happens naturally. My youngest son, Dylan, who is 24 years old, is getting married this weekend, which is why I’ve recently been immersed in a nostalgic review of his life. Looking at his baby book, a chronicle of written entries and photos, has especially stirred up a mix of emotions in me. ~ Read more HERE.

August – Playing Hooky: Too soon, the lushness of July is over. So is the rush of activities; weddings, graduations, re-unions, and vacations. By August my garden looks haggard and bug-infested. By mid-August reality sets in. Kids shopping for notebooks and new school clothes know their summer days are numbered. So do I. Soon I’ll have to put on shoes. My husband’s chainsaw has already been started up. There’s a melancholy feeling to August that makes me want to spend the day photographing butterflies, as if storing their images before they disappear. I’d like to go to the pool, immerse myself its Caribbean blue illusion, and then stretch out on a lounge chair in the sun and read. ~ Read more HERE.

September – Do Writer’s Retire: As a writer, it seems that I seesaw between the fast-paced productiveness of writing and the dead end crash it leads to when the bottom falls out. When I’m inspired, I complain that can’t write fast enough. When I’m not, I whine about having nothing to say. I know I should enjoy what is commonly referred to as “the writer’s block,” the way a person on vacation shouldn’t think about work. I thought I had gotten over the feeling I used to get when my creative outpouring dried up: that my writing had been a fluke after all and would never happen again. ~ Read more HERE.

October – Floyd Loves Barbara Kingsolver: The line of people waiting to meet the acclaimed author, Barbara Kingsolver, wound from the school library table where she was signing books, out through the library door, into the hall, up the stairs, and into the school lobby. At the close of her talk, I rushed from my seat like a single woman determined to catch the bouquet at a wedding and discovered the fast track to her table. It involved a first stop at a book sale table, set up by the owners of Floyd’s independent bookstore, noteBooks. After purchasing a copy of “Small Wonders,” I was ushered into a much smaller line that dovetailed with the longer one. I’m happy with my personally signed copy of a book written by Barbara Kingsolver, but the book I really wanted wasn’t for sale. ~ Read more HERE.

November – A November Porch Vacation: A good book. A lounge chair. The sun makes freckles on my bared skin. A single fat fly buzzes by like a fighter pilot that doesn’t know the war is over. This one doesn’t know it isn’t summer. A clumsy yellow hornet goes down, crashes into my arm. I flick it off while sipping every color of the rainbow reflected off my cobalt blue mug. ~ Read more HERE.

December – THE SPOKEN WORD OPEN MIC WANTS YOU: Feelin’ groovy at the Café Del Sol’s third Saturday open mic. Still hummin' from the Hafla the night before. My poem had a fat fly and a clumsy yellow hornet in it. Sierra returned with her sweet words all abuzz … God is a bumble bee with hyacinth desire …. I am a jar of honey… Kayla, our 9 year old MC, stood in for Sally, Café owner, again. Her shirt was awhirl with a butterfly seeking nectar and went well with the fluttering art of Sue Nees that hung on the wall behind her. She introduced me as Colleen Redman…or Redmana… or Red Ruby slippers. She let me wear hers and I tried to make them fit but discovered that it’s hard to walk in Kyla’s shoes. ~ Read more HERE.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

Posted by Colleen at 8:19 PM | Permalink | Comments (11)

Aka: tagged by Rebekah

* Three things that scare me: Driving on highways near cities, people whose body language doesn’t match what they are saying, things like rats and cockroaches and public speaking.

* Three people who make me laugh: Stephen Colbert, Julia Louise Dreyfus, and my nephew Patrick. Here’s why.

* Three things I love: Kelly Erb’s carrot cake, taking off with my husband with our camper in search of an ocean, having days on end with nothing scheduled.

* Three things I hate: child abuse, speed bumps, when I spill tea on my clean white shirt.

* Three things I don't understand: Where the dead go, algebra, and why anyone would think Bush is a good president.

* Three things on my desk: Two plastic frogs that I like to arrange in compromising positions. A ceramic mug that my son made with a photo of me in a castle in Ireland somehow imposed on the front of it. A paper crown of gold foil with the word “WORDS” pasted on it.

* Three things I'm doing right now: Trying to sit up straight, getting ready for a trip to Asheville for my son’s BFA Thesis show, working on a piece about foster care for people with disabilities to submit to the Floyd Press.

* Three things I want to do before I die: Go to a blog convention and meet all my blog friends, learn to be fearless and present in the moment, eat pastry in Paris and pasta in Italy but not get fat.

* Three things I can do: Hoola hoop, speak with an Irish accent, grow arugula and lettuce in a cold frame and eat it in December.

* Three things I can't do: Cartwheels, sew my own clothes, solve world hunger.

* Three things you should listen to: Your muse, your mother, and the real nightingale as opposed to the gilded one.

* Three things you should never listen to: Rush Limbaugh (the guy who said the fiasco at Abu Ghraib was just young soldiers blowing off steam.), bigots, loud music next to speakers, especially if it’s rap that is denigrating to women.

* Three things I'd like to learn: desktop publishing, shorthand (I use to know this), and how to cure CFS.

Post Note: Rebekah from East of Oregon is also the inspiration for the photo above.

Posted by Colleen at 10:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (18)

Why do you wear a mask? Were you burned by acid or something? Oh no. It's just they're terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future. ~ The Princess Bride

The answers to last week’s Halloween Costume Contest, which you can review HERE, are as follows.

1. Sally, owner of the Café Del Sol.

2. Yes, it’s true, *Amy, Deana, srp, Keda, and Ruth* you all guessed right! It’s me dressed in my thrift shop elegance. Besides my accomplice husband, only one person guessed it was me, and I remained anonymous all night. When I tried to order beer at the bar, Sally demanded to see either my face or my ID. I showed her my hand and pointed out an age spot, but she didn’t fall for it.

3. Mysterious alien wearing a blue feathered boa remains mysterious to even me. She got the most votes.

4. The bearded lady is actually my friend, Bob. He won first prize for his costume and antics. (I think he offered special favors to the judges … wink… wink.)

Other news: I’m happy to report that my post “The Pink Raft” won a Perfect Post Award, hosted the first of each month by MommaK at Petroville. After getting such encouraging feedback for the entry, I began to think maybe I should start a Pink Raft Society like the Red Hat Ladies. Do you think the idea would float?

Posted by Colleen at 9:07 AM | Permalink | Comments (18)

Among the costumes posted below is the one I wore at the Winter Sun Spookfest this past Saturday Night. Be the first to guess which one it is and get your name up in lights here at Loose Leaf.

1. Will the

2. Real Colleen

3. Please

4. Stand up.

Post note: Identities will be revealed this weekend.

Posted by Colleen at 11:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (21)

“I have never liked working. To me a job is an invasion of privacy.” - Danny McGoorty, Irish pool player

My father wanted me to be a doctor, but I had a secret romantic idea that I wanted to be a peddler, either that or join the Peace Corp.

The following entry was inspired by my niece, who recently posted a list of her jobs on her blog. Family members on the Love-Link, the group e-mail that was started when my brother Dan was in the hospital 5 years ago, have been doing the same.

Because of my issues with Chronic Fatigue, which started during my 6 year tenure as a day care teacher, my jobs have been mostly part-time and often untraditional. They are listed in order from the time I was a teenager up to the present and do include a little peddling and work in human services.

1. Babysitting
2. Helping our neighbor Mrs. Brody open her beach house for the summer. I washed dishes and sometimes slept over because she was elderly and didn’t like to be alone.
3. Washing dishes at the Stonecrest Nursing Home.
4. Hat check girl at the Surf Ballroom in my hometown of Hull, Massachusetts. Sonny and Cher played there.
5. Sales person at an upscale woman’s clothing boutique in Boston. I smoked pot with my bosses and sometimes did live-mannequin modeling in the window.
6. Private duty nurse for an elderly man who had no legs. I was actually a nurse’s assistant but worked the night shift on my own. I ate a lot of chocolate chip cookies and watched old movies. I was recovering from a major depression/anxiety disorder at the time.
7. Worked in a factory with my sister Sherry (now an RN), who I also shared an apartment with. We called this period our “Laverne and Shirley” days. We painted fire alarms red.
8. Day care teacher at South Shore Day Care. I got this job via the un-employment office after telling them that I wanted to work with the blind or the mentally handicapped. I started as an aide, got accredited, and worked my way up to a teacher.
9. Full-time Mom. The highlight of my life.
10. Took an elderly man shopping once a week.
11. Freelance writer. The first piece I sold was to Mothering Magazine.
12. I worked in a pre-school nursery at a church and a gym, never went to the church or worked out at the gym.
13. My life as a waitress lasted only 1 week. You couldn’t pay me …
14. I was a night watchman at the B-Real Ethanol Plant in Floyd. I watched the moon more than anything.
15. Sales person at Seeds of Light, a bead shop in Blacksburg. I did jewelry repairs and ordered the store’s books. More on that HERE. and HERE
16. Jeweler. I peddled my wares in shops from Floyd to the Caribbean and was a Grateful Dead parking lot vendor.
17. Foster care provider for an individual who was blind and mentally handicapped. (See # 8) for 9 years.
18. Author of The Jim and Dan Stories, blogger, and freelance writer and poet who occasionally gets paid.

Addendum: I also sold peppers to the Harvest Moon food store one year when I had a surplus crop. I was hired as a poetry tutor for a child, and worked behind the scenes with kids for a kid TV show pilot briefly. I once auditioned for a TV commercial and modeled ski wear in a fashion show.

Post notes: The first photo is of me and my son Dylan and was taken around 1990 at a Grateful Dead Show. The second one is of me doing potato print art with kids at South Shore daycare in 1977. Feel free to leave a list of some of your jobs in a comment.

Posted by Colleen at 9:49 AM | Permalink | Comments (22)

Amy the Black wants to know five weird things about me. Only 5?

1. I once saw the word “thinking” and was convinced it said “thin king.”

2. The bravest thing I ever did was jump into a hole on an ice covered pond, naked after a sauna.

3. The first time someone asked me out after my first marriage ended, he said, “Do you want to go out to eat Friday night?" and I answered, “I don’t know if I’ll be hungry then.”

4. I have one white eyebrow. The other one is brown.

5. My family nickname is Colly Wolly Wolf.

Now tell me something weird about yourself.

Posted by Colleen at 9:18 AM | Permalink | Comments (16)

“As someone who is 5 foot and 1 inch, I sometimes wonder what I might have done with all the time I’ve spent hemming pants and skirts if I didn’t have to do it. Maybe if I was taller, I would have read more of the classics.” ~ Colleen

I’ve been thinking about books all weekend, since Deana tagged me for the following meme. I’ve been thinking how hard it is to name only one book that changed my life; how I read mostly to learn rather than for entertainment; how if a book doesn’t grab me quickly, I tend not to finish it; how I yearn for a book to come along and grab me quickly; how there comes a point when reading yet another book feels like the acquisition of second hand information when I really want to go out and experience life adventures first hand and write about them myself.

1. One book that changed my life: The book “Are You Somebody? The Accidental Memoir of a Dublin Woman” by Nuala Ofaolain helped to give me the confidence to write my own book. Her writing was informal and untraditional, but it was also authentic and held my attention. It made me realize that everyone has a story to tell and that writing isn’t an elite activity meant for only a handful of people.

2. One book that I have read more than once: "Goodnight Moon" by Margaret Wise and other children’s books that I read to my sons over and over.

3. One book I would want on a deserted island: Something like Euell Gibbons, “Stalking the Wild Asparagus.”

4. One book that made me laugh: "A Walk in the Woods: Rediscovering America on the Appalachian Trail" by Bill Bryson. Not only did it make me laugh, it made me hike the Appalachian Trail, for a few days at least.

5. One book that made me cry: “What book made me cry?” I asked my husband. “The Jim and Dan Stories,” he answered. “That doesn’t count. I can’t say my own book. Didn’t Wendell Berry’s “Jayber Crow” make me cry?” I asked him. “Yes,” he answered. “Okay, I’m going to use that one.”

6. One book I wish I'd written: Reality aside, maybe “Word Freak,” by Stephan Fastis, the book I’m reading now about the history of Scrabble and the counterculture of Scrabble Tournament players. I’m attracted to the kind of research he did to write the book and the fact that he became a tournament player himself. I’d like to be able to play scrabble and write as good as he does.

7. One book I wish had never been written: I guess the world could live without the book Joe and I saw at a bar in Dupont Circle about extreme body piercing.

8. One book I am currently reading: Besides "Word Freak," and “Sibling Grief” (which I reviewed HERE), I’ve been plunking around “Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim” by David Sedaris.

9. One book I have been meaning to read: The book "Storycatcher" by Christina Baldwin that my sister Kathy gave me when she was here for my son’s wedding, and fellow-Floydian Fred’s book “Slow Road Home” are next up on my bedroom nightstand table.

Post Notes: More thoughts on books? Here is the first book meme I did last summer. I am now passing the tag on to the Red Queen, Ben-gal, and Leslie on top of Squirrel Spur.

Floydfesters: scroll down for last week's posts and photos of Floyd Fest Five.

Posted by Colleen at 9:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (16)

This via Vanx:

5 items in my fridge

1. Bubble and Squeak
2. A New Castle beer
3. Sunscreen
4. Venison
5. A small package of Philadelphia cream cheese with the expiration date 2/06, bought in case my son, Josh, came to visit. I guess I can throw it out now.

5 items in my closet

1. A picture of John and Yoko taped to the back wall, the one taken by Annie Leibovitz for Rolling Stone of John, who is naked, wrapped around Yoko, who is not.
2. A green plastic milk crate with the words “Scrumpy Cider Mill, Bell Mead NJ” on it.
3. The book, “Scrabble Freak.” (One of the items in the crate.)
4. A black and white Palestinian keffiyeh scarf.
5. A cream-colored lace dress from wedding #1.

5 items in my car

1. All variety of new and old issues of The New River Free Press, a Blacksburg newspaper that I distribute in Floyd.
2. A kaliedescope
3. A dictionary
4. A harvest corn necklace, hanging from my review mirror, strung by a child (who is now grown up), tied together with a purple ribbon with a white seagull feather pinned on it.
5. A Dave Matthews tape in the tape player.

5 items in my pocket/purse

1. A teabag
2. A vial of Bach Flower rescue remedy
3. A toy about the size of a quarter that makes a bird sound when you press it.
4. A photo of my brothers, Jim and Dan
5. My “Republic of Floyd” card, which gives me a discount at The Harvest Moon health food store.

What’s in your wallet?

Posted by Colleen at 8:43 AM | Permalink | Comments (18)

Now about that pesky little thing called an inferiority complex…Who wants the attention…It’s too much pressure…I can’t live up to it…Who the heck do I think I am…?

“I wonder if everyone has one," I asked by friend Mara, "and they’re just covering it up better than we are?”

“Either that or they’re arrogant egotists,” she answered.

Post Note: Need a compliment? Go here.

Posted by Colleen at 9:39 AM | Permalink | Comments (12)

AKA: Meet Colleen Sherry

A new take on magnetic poetry? It’s a list of recent key word searches that brought folks to Loose Leaf:

Can I sunbathe in the nude in South Carolina?
What leaf is this?
My husband is an out of work writer
What kind of leaves do snails like?
A narrow fellow in the grass quiz questions
A shirtless camping trip
Colleen Sherry
Dear Abby poems
How to loose wait
Loose shoes accident
Silver and gold rich dad
A leaf’s work is never done

The most interesting one to me was “Colleen Sherry.” I don’t know whether the searcher was looking for my sister Sherry and me or wanting to buy a wine glass. Apparently, there is a type of sherry glass made from Colleen Crystal. The photo is what I got when I googled “Colleen Sherry” and hit the images. There is also a woman named “Colleen Sherry.” You learn something new everyday.

Posted by Colleen at 9:54 AM | Permalink | Comments (15)

The answers to Tuesday’s Loose Leaf InQUIZiton are as follows:

1. This past year I wrote about winning what? On May 30th I wrote: On the night of the day that my essay aired on WVTF public radio, I participated in a poetry slam at The London Underground in Blacksburg and won $100 gift certificate to buy books at The Easy Chair! Initially, I was leery about reading my poetry in such a smoky, chaotic atmosphere where rowdy guys holding onto mugs of beer seemed to be waiting for the dartboards to be available again. While I did write about being nominated for a blog award, I only made it as far as a finalist. The answer is a Poetry Slam. Read more...

2. Besides a trip to the South Carolina coast, what other vacation destination did I go on this year and write about? On October 3rd I wrote: It takes longer to boil water in high altitudes, which is hard for a tea lover like me. The high altitude also effects nail polish remover. It dries before it can do what it was made for. The answer it Aspen. Read more...

3. In the year 2000 I voted for: On September 16th I wrote: Far-right Republicans, like President Bush, have shown little interest in preventative programs that help people and solve problems, like the UN or FEMA. Their answer to everything seems to be privatization, which sets the stage for corporate cronyism and greed. The only government program they clearly support is the military. For years, Republicans complained about the Welfare Program, less than 1% of the federal budget, while spending for the military under their administrations skyrocketed and deficits rose to record levels... This is the only one in the group where the exact answer is not revealed on my blog, but most readers made an educated guess, in that no one said Bush. The correct answer is Gore. Read more.....

4. I usually play Scrabble with: On February 2nd I wrote: While playing scrabble last week with my friend Mara, at one point she confessed, “I want Sy Safransky (editor of the Sun Magazine) to love me." I think I can work that line into a poem. Mara is the correct answer. Read more...

5. My husband likes to play: On March 16th I wrote: My husband loves to play golf to the point that some people might perceive me as a golf widow, but I think he, as the husband of a writer, was a widower first. Recently when he told me that he was going to play golf, I said, “You dog!” He looked dejected by my comment until I added, “No, I don’t mean you’re in the doghouse, I mean you lucky dog! Go for it!” Golf is the correct answer. Read more...

6. What 2005 Floyd Fest performer did I write about? On August 4th I wrote: Ani tells it like it is. She’s petite but her stage presence is big and I haven’t been so impressed with songwriting/poetry since the early days of Joni Mitchell. “Joni Mitchell revolutionized,” I turned to my husband and said, while she was changing guitars. Her life work is sharing her talent, not only to entertain but to raise consciousness. The correct answer is Ani DiFranco. Read more....

7. The alias I used while answering my husband interview questions for his human sexuality class: On February 23rd I wrote: On two occasions recently I’ve served at an interviewee for my husband’s Masters in counseling assignments. The last interview was on sexuality. My interview alias is Ann. (A reader then commented, “How fun is it to be Ann?”) The correct answer is Ann. Read more...

8. My brothers, who are the subject of my book, names are: On June 3rd I wrote: When my brothers, Jim and Dan, died a month apart in 2001, the reality of impermanence hit me hard. I’ve been reading about death and contemplating it ever since. Although I’ve experienced firsthand how it feels to have a loved one die, I still don’t understand death. Most of us don't. We know it happens, but when it happens in our own family, our innocence is shattered and our understanding is reduced to that of a child’s. Where do we come from? Where do we go? How do you lose a person? The correct answer is Jim and Dan. Read more...

9. My sister’s blog name is an alliteration that begins with the letter: On July 10th I wrote: My sister Kathy’s blog, “A Particularly Persistent Point of View” made its debut a couple of months before "Loose Leaf" did. It covers a mix of political and metaphysical topics, and is set up via a dialogue with her inner critic, which in this incarnation is a tiger. I don’t think I ever could have guessed so many years ago when she was first discovering the world wide web of the internet that we would both end up being so “online,” blogging side-by side. The correct answer is P. Read more...

I meant to post 10 quiz questions to make it easy to score percentages, but mistakenly only posted 9; so I gave everyone one free answer just for playing. The top best scorers at 90% go to two non-bloggers, Tammy! and Sherry! Others who scored 80% are: Deana, Kathy, Janet, Trish, Ivy, and Chris-sea. Thanks to everyone for playing! You can view the Quiz in its entirety here.

Posted by Colleen at 8:29 AM | Permalink | Comments (13)

In keeping with the week’s celebration of Loose Leaf’s first year mark, I consulted the Google Oracle to see what it had to say. I typed “Loose Leaf is” into their search engine and this is some of what I got:

Loose Leaf is heard on 227 stations and boasts 250000 listeners.
Loose Leaf is derived from the notebook-style format.
Loose Leaf is a leafy black tea infused with the flavor of lychee fruit.
Loose Leaf is devoted to local artisan items for sale by their creators.
Loose Leaf is best.
Loose Leaf is an offspring of the Silver and Gold website.
Loose Leaf is a woman owned and operated small business firm.
Loose Leaf is written and updated exclusively by a Senior Technical Editor who is a specialist in the field.
Loose Leaf is important, because the notes are archived along with the specimens.
Loose Leaf is required for collected assignments.
Loose Leaf is brewed in a gourd and shared with participants.
Loose-leaf is recommended because it will help.
Loose-leaf is preferred by most naturalists.
Loose Leaf is being applied.

Post Note: There is still time to play the Loose Leaf InQUIZition below. Answers and scores will be posted on Friday. Thanks to everyone who has played!

Posted by Colleen at 9:53 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)

Okay, now let’s see who’s been paying attention! I found a great little quiz over at Weary Hag’s place that I wanted to adapt for Loose Leaf. I had fun playing (her version was called the "Hagsperiment"), and I especially liked the game show sound effects. But when I went to set up my own quiz the link didn’t work anymore. I’ve recreated it here, without the game show sound effects, unfortunately. Can I have an imaginary drum roll, please…On your mark, get set, PLAY.

This past year I wrote about winning:
1. A free trip to Disney World
2. A Poetry Slam
3. A Scrabble Tournament
4. A Blog Award

Besides a trip to the South Carolina coast, what other vacation destination did I go on this year and write about?
1. Hawaii
2. Aspen
3. New Orleans
4. Ireland

In the year 2000 I voted for:
1. Gore
2. Bush
3. Nadar
4. Martin Sheen

I usually play Scrabble with:
1. Sherry
2. Kenju
3. Mara
4. Katherine

My husband likes to play:
1. Scrabble
2. Racquetball
3. Golf
4. Tennis

What 2005 Floyd Fest performer did I write about?
1. Nickel Creek
2. Willie Nelson
3. Ani DeFranco
4. Dar Williams

The alias I used while answering my husband interview questions for his human sexuality class:
1. Bambi
2. Joan
3. Ann
4.Chris

My brother’s names, who are also the subject of a book I wrote:
1. Joey and Dan
2. Jim and John
3. Bob and Josh
4. Jim and Dan

My sister’s blog name is an alliteration that begins with the letter:
1. B
2. P
3. M
4. L

Posted by Colleen at 11:44 AM | Permalink | Comments (14)

The following are my answers to interview questions posed by Jake from the Jake Silver Show:

1. When do you first recall wanting to be a writer and what inspired that? I began writing Bob Dylan-inspired poetry as a teenager in my bedroom and then “letters to the editor” for local newspapers. As a young full-time mother I read an article in one of my favorite magazines, “Mothering,” and thought to myself, ‘I can do that.’ I knew I had something to say, but I had to teach myself sentence structure and punctuation by studying how it was done in books and magazines. The first article I submitted to “Mothering” was accepted for publication….and they paid me! (There’s a writer’s biography on my website that goes into more detail on my writing background and my genetic tendencies towards it.)

2. What made you want to start a Web Log? I was writing lots of political commentary for The Roanoke Times, The New River Free Press, and online publications. I got burned out because it was painstaking work to reference everything I wrote and because after the presidential election on 2004 I felt defeated and lost faith in the system. I wanted to do something completely different and have some fun with writing. For me, I understand life by translating it into words. I needed a container for all my writing and a way to organize and cross-reference it. I also think of my blog as a memoir writing project, a time capsule into my life and the time and setting I’m living in.

3. How did you come up with the name and theme of your Web Log? I wanted green. I wanted to let my hair down and draw on my Irish heritage (you know what good talkers and writers the Irish are). I purposely chose the bio-photo I did because it was taken in Ireland and because I have a shamrock pinned to my sweater. Besides being a nice sounding alliteration, “Loose Leaf” conjures up images of notebook paper and tea, both of which describe me pretty well. I recognized the multi-purpose a blog could fulfill. I knew it would be a natural extension to my Silver and Gold webpage and figured that it would have a re-occurring grief and loss thread. Like my webpage, I wanted my blog to offer a model of encouragement to other self-taught writers with stories of their own to tell. I wanted a forum to write about writing, post occasional poems, and feature snapshots of the country lifestyle I live. Some of the other themes, which I particularly enjoy, like the “S-C-R-A-B-B-L-E” category and “Featured Artist,” evolved over time. My Asheville potter son who loves the Red Sox and my Scrabble partner and poet friend, Mara, are regular re-occurring characters that are always fun to write about.

4. Have you ever had an embarrassing situation occur because of Blogging? The possibility to be embarrassed exists everyday when you put yourself out there (and use your real name like I do). I still swing from feeling really positive to vulnerable about blogging. I’m sometimes embarrassed that I have so little tech-no-logic sense about computers and that I have to rely on other people to help me. The worst thing that has happened thus far is this: A local city paper, which features links to regional blogs on its online front page, featured a blog post of mine entitled “Have You Seen Me Lately?” but the editor changed the title to read “America is Evil!” I thought it was a mistake or a cruel joke, but it wasn’t. I was mortified and felt exposed, misunderstood, and even libeled. By the time I got the editorial editor on the phone, I was in tears. They took it down, but for 4 hours that day people were clicking on my site looking for “America is Evil,” a black and white simplistic misrepresentation of what I actually wrote.

5. What is the best aspect of keeping a Blog? I like the interactive aspect of blogging and that it’s done without the obvious visual cues that can, sadly, sometimes cause us to judge people by how they present physically (age, size, culture, etc). I’m a social scientist at heart, and I’ve always been curious about people. I like that I can connect with those who I have something in common with, and I especially like that blogging creates a format that allows me to connect with others who live and think differently than I do. My book, about losing my brothers, my webpage, and my blog have all expanded me as a writer and a person, and have shown me that my writing can touch others, which has been very rewarding. But the best part of that equation is something I didn’t expect…the people I have touched with my writing have reached right back and touched me.

6. Is there anything that you'd love to be asked that I didn't ask you? This is like getting a blank in a Scrabble game. I know it’s an opportunity that should be welcomed. Most people like getting a blank, but I usually have a hard time visualizing it as anything other than a blank. I’m drawing a blank here, but I’m going to think about this question some more and maybe do a whole post on it someday.

Posted by Colleen at 8:21 AM | Permalink | Comments (15)

AKA:
1. A picture is worth

1000 words…

or is that kisses?

2. This is a game

where we both win.

3. Got one of your own?

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY

XOXO

Posted by Colleen at 8:19 AM | Permalink | Comments (14)

I've got a notion…I might as well be closer to your heart…It's out in the open…I might as well be closer to your heart… ~ song by Clannad ~

While walking hand in hand to the mailbox recently with my husband, I asked him, “Can you remember the exact moment you fell in love with me...an instant when you just knew?"

It didn’t take him long to answer, “It was the night you were sweetly singing that Clannad song as I was drifting off to sleep.”

Then it was my turn.

“I think I knew I was in love with you when we were walking arm in arm down by the pond at the 709 house. Looking down at our feet, I noticed how in sync we walked together and the beautiful rhythm we made while we walked, just like we are right now.”

When did you fall in love with your sweetheart?

Post Note: Thanks to d. challener at Rough Draft. Number 8 on his “13 things I love about Jeni” reminded me of the above recent conversation.

Posted by Colleen at 8:55 AM | Permalink | Comments (36)

This is fun. I saw it at “Out of My Mind with Worry” from a website called “Snapshirts.com.” You type in the name of your blog and it creates a word collage based on what's found at your site. I think this one is a pretty good representation of “Loose Leaf,” and I imagine the results would change as my blog entries do each day.

Posted by Colleen at 11:29 AM | Permalink | Comments (10)

1. Caught red handed.
2. Pretty in pink
3. Hands up! This is a stick-up
4. Simon says: Do this.

_________________ fill in your own caption.

Photo: Sunday walk on a Blue Ridge Parkway trail. Joe wants to take my picture and says, “Take your hands out of your pocket. I want to see your gloves.”

Posted by Colleen at 8:36 AM | Permalink | Comments (20)

The following are the answers to yesterday's “Liar Liar Pants on Fire” Challenge:

1. I have hitchhiked before. We called it “thumbing.” It was the late 1970s, and I was probably inspired by the lyrics of the song Me and Bobby Mcgee... Bobby thumbed a diesel down just before it rained...It rode us all the way into New Orleans. I did it by myself but only in the small town I grew up in.

2. I’ve flown in a helicopter before. It was in Arizona. My husband and I hiked 18 miles into the Grand Canyon and camped on the Havasupi Indian Reservation. After a few days of camping, the plan was to head out on horse back, but the ride into the small Havasupi town broke skin on my husband’s backside and so we hired one of their helicopters. I think it cost $150, but the unforgettable views while riding over the canyon made it worth it.

1. This is the lie! I don’t have ruby red slippers like Dorothy, but not for a lack of trying. I’ve always wanted a pair, but they only make them in little girl’s sizes. Do you think I could get some on Ebay?

2. I have never used an ATM machine. I wouldn’t know how. I use cash, a credit card, or checks and have never felt the need to learn. Am I missing something?

Four people got it right, Theo, Kenju, Srp, and Mar, and four guessed that never using an ATM machine was the lie. 3 thought I never rode in a helicopter and 2 guessed I never hitchhiked before. Thanks everyone for playing!

Photo: The hitchhiker is my son Josh. He’s a walking art installation.

Posted by Colleen at 1:14 PM | Permalink | Comments (18)

Liar Liar Pants on Fire returns to Loose Leaf. Below are 4 things about me, one of which is a lie. Can you pick out the lie? Winners will be posted.

1. I’ve hitchhiked before.
2. I’ve rode in a helicopter before.
3. I have a pair of ruby red slippers like Dorothy’s.
4. I’ve never used an ATM machine.

Post Note: With my first installment of “Liar Liar,” I stumped most everybody. Second time around the majority of readers guessed the lie. I originally got this idea from Lu’s News. Old Lady of the Hills has been playing too (her true ones can seem like whoppers, but they’re not).

Posted by Colleen at 9:39 AM | Permalink | Comments (19)

This is the front window of my Asheville potter son’s warehouse studio/remodeled living space. I wonder how many web surfers searching for a certain outlawed herbal remedy will come to my site and be disappointed today?

Posted by Colleen at 9:25 AM | Permalink | Comments (13)

This past November, inspired by an idea at Writing from the Hip, I posted excerpts and links to my Top Ten blog posts taken from my first 6 months of blogging. I enjoyed the process of picking out my favorites and re-posting them, especially considering that in the first few months of blogging I didn’t have many readers. Below are 6 excerpts and links that were the runner-ups for the Top Ten list. In March, I’ll be celebrating my year anniversary as a blogger and will post the Top Ten from my second six months then.

The Boston Tea Party Re-visited Here, in the South Shore of Boston, every other person is proudly donned in some sort of Red Sox apparel, forks are called “fawks” and cars are “cahs,” and it’s common to spend over $1,000 a month for a 2 bedroom apartment. Here, navigating a traffic rotary, a circular grassy intersection where all points on the compass meet, is like square dancing in a foreign country where the dances aren’t called but your expected to know the moves, and when former Cambridge resident Ben Affleck gets married, it makes the front page of the Boston Herald. Read more...

I Met Him at the Laundry Mat You’re golden…I’m red delicious…basking in the sun’s September glory…You’re Adam…I’m Eve… My husband, Joe, moved to Floyd in 1987 to be a teacher at the Blue Mountain School, the parent-run cooperative school that my sons went to. We first met in the town laundry mat. He was with a couple of BMS parents tie dying shirts for a school fundraiser, and I was picking apples from a tree out front. The apples were green and discolored with black spots, but I was living on a low income, raising two sons, and I knew they would make good apple crisp. Read more...

Two Head Are Better Than One I found a good IQ test online, which professed to be the most thorough and scientifically accurate IQ test on the Web, developed by PhDs, and previously offered only to corporations, schools, and certified professionals. I had never taken one before and was curious. I know I’m smart enough, but I don’t always come across that way, probably because of my family inheritance of unusual brain wiring (aka known as dyslexia and/or dyscalculia). I surprised myself by getting a fairly high score. For the next day or so, I teased my husband, claiming to be a “genius.” Although it was an obvious exaggeration, being a “genius” was my new explanation or excuse for every thing, as if I had discovered a royal family background. Then…I don’t know what I was thinking…I baited him to take the test, asking, “Don’t you want to see if you’re a genius too?” Read more...

Where I’m From I am from my father’s eyes after he saw the holocaust at Buchenwald and the nape of my mother’s neck where white pearls hung before her thyroid surgery…I am from Hail Mary full of grapes…midnight mass and pennies in the poor box…I’m from the unlucky luck of the Irish…the old sod and Southie before there were gangsters... Read more...

Poetry: A Bubbling Spring One of my most interesting writing assignments was interviewing Ruby Altizer Roberts in the fall of 1999 for Expressions magazine, a Blacksburg art publication that is no longer in existence. In 1950 Ruby was voted the first woman Poet Laureate of Virginia by the General Assembly. She was the only woman to hold the title until Rita Dove was chosen for the honor in 2004. In 1992, Ruby was given the added title of Virginia’s Poet Laureate Emeritus, another first. Born here in Floyd County in 1907, Ruby lived most of her life in the neighboring town of Christiansburg. I can still remember how nervous I was and what I was wearing – khaki pants, a black blazer, and a green printed scarf – on the day she opened the front door of her home in Christiansburg to greet me. Read more...

Ani in the Rain
I wore an assortment of hats, caps, and visors throughout the 4th annual Floyd Fest weekend to keep from being sunburned and from getting WET. We seemed to get all variety of weather over the 3 day world music weekend. The Blue Ridge Parkway, where the festival is held, is notorious for fog, and so, there’s good reason that Floyd Fest is sometimes affectionately called “Fog Fest.” Emerging from her tour bus and onto the timber-framed stage at Sunday evening, Ani DiFranco closed the show with what was said to be her last performance before taking a year off. I heard that she has tendonitis, and with the way she drives her guitar, I’m not surprised. Read more...

Post Note: I have some photos "Christmas Pots by Josh" being featured at Stephanie Davies' "Photo of the Week" over at "Mystickal Incense." The first one I took and the second was taken by my son Josh.

Posted by Colleen at 8:38 AM | Permalink | Comments (9)

“One out of four people in this country is mentally unbalanced. Think of your three closest friends; if they seem OK, then you're the one.” ~ Ann Landers

I was tagged by Bill, the grad student who discovered my blog while taking a blog class at Trinity College and then brought it to the attention of his class. The class is over, but he’s still blogging. In the spirit of making friends and because 4 Things should be easier than 13 (tomorrow), my answers are as follows:

Four jobs I've had in my life: A Day Care Teacher, a Foster Care Provider for adults with developmental disabilities, a shopkeeper, and a self-employed jewelry maker. My strangest job was as a night watchman.

Four movies I could watch over and over: Here’s what it says about movies on my “About Me” blog bio-page: Just like I forget jokes right after they're told to me, I forget the names of movies after I see them. I recently saw Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and liked it. Also, I bragged about “Off the Map” right here on the blog. “Les Miserables” and “A Christmas Carol” woke me up to my spirit as a child.

Four places I've lived: I grew up on the peninsula of Hull in the South Shore of Boston, Massachusetts. I lived in Plymouth, right next to the rock, for a year. Small town Tomball, just north of Houston, Texas, is where my sons were born. I currently live in a log cabin off The Blue Ridge Parkway in Virginia down a dirt road named after a Grateful Dead song.

Four TV shows I love to watch: The ones I catch while flipping around, usually on PBS. I don’t like to miss the news, real and otherwise. I only have 4 channels and don’t get Jon Stewart, so I settle for Tina Fay on “Saturday Night Live,” if I can stay up that late. Re-runs of Seinfeld beat out many of the current sitcoms, some of which I like, but I lose interest fast because the networks are cheap and air re-runs right in the middle of the season.

Four places I've been on vacation: I bought a Guinness T-shirt after hiking The Cliffs of Moher and pressing wild shamrocks into my journal in Ireland. I accidentally got drunk on Bailey’s Coladas in St. Croix, Virgin Islands, and walked home carrying a boom box that was playing Ziggy Marley. I swam at night under the stars in a phosphorescent bay in Puerto Rico and later composed a poem about it. I stayed in a bungalow owned by a Buddhist with 2 women friends on the coast of Oregon. I’ve also been to Aspen but didn’t go skiing.

Four websites I visit daily: I check in with Doug at Blue Ridge Muse and Fred at Fragments From Floyd most days because, like me, they’re from Floyd, and I don’t want to miss anything. I regularly visit my sister’s blog, A Persistent Point of View. Elissa at Hurricane Country and Michele Agnew might be a tie.

Four of my favorite foods: Eggs keep me healthy; homemade carrot cake keeps me happy; pasta with olive oil, garlic, basil, and pine nuts keeps me full; and seafood keeps my head on straight.

Four places I'd rather be: Walking barefoot on a beach at sunset, drinking good beer (or a cup of tea) in an Irish Pub with someone playing the Uilleann pipes in the background, soaking in a bathtub full of hot non-chlorinated water, spinning on a dance floor with the band of my choice playing my favorite songs.

Four albums I can't live without: I can’t think of 4 albums that I couldn’t live without, so I’m going to name 4 songs that had a profound influence on me at different times of my life: Get Together by Jessie Colin Young; I am a Child by Neil Young; Higher Love (I manifested my husband by playing it over and over while dancing) by Steve Winwood; and the music from Peter and The Wolf, which I first heard as a young child. On the question of “favorite music” I am quoted on my blog bio-page as saying this: Lately I listen to Nora Jones, Sarah Mclaughlin or Sheryl Crow. My favorite band to dance to is Floyd's own “Foundation Stone.” I swoon over Eric Clapton's voice especially when he sings Layla (the acoustic version).

Four people I’m tagging if they want to be caught, all Loose Leaf visitors from yesterday: Melange, Here in the Hills, Harmonia’s Hut, Fond of Snape

Posted by Colleen at 8:45 AM | Permalink | Comments (13)

AKA: What’s Under Your Tree?

Just in time for Christmas? An alternative to sitting on Santa’s lap? This is a new take on “The Google Oracle” I posted in October. Type your name in a search engine like this: “Colleen needs” and see what Google divines for you.

Colleen needs a new computer.
Colleen needs to provide details.
Colleen needs a Job.
Colleen needs the final contact information by Tuesday.
Colleen needs to work on her computer skills and speed.
Colleen needs to know what your priorities are.
Colleen needs a head count for meals by Dec 27th.
Colleen needs a toe ring to go with those cute new sandals.
Colleen needs a race car "with shiny chrome for trim" that could just take her home forever.
Colleen needs to study her lingo during her free period.
Colleen needs a lime green frog.
Colleen needs help too!!!!
Colleen needs to move on!!!
Colleen needs a storyline.
Colleen needs more than a bucket of ice water.
Colleen needs a disco Ball around her neck and she'd look just like Dazzler.
Colleen needs a certain amount of money to make sure her programs are successful.

Posted by Colleen at 9:25 AM | Permalink | Comments (11)

AKA: My “Liar Liar” contest backfired!
I recently posted 4 things about myself, one of which was a lie, and asked readers to guess which one. Most everyone picked “I went to Woodstock” as the lie. And they were right, but not right for the right reasons. They thought I wasn’t old enough to have gone to Woodstock, but I was! Here’s the story:

I almost went to Woodstock. I planned to go. I was old enough, at 19 years old. My brother Jimmy, 4 years older than me, went. I had friends who were going and who pleaded with me to go too. I imagine that they were waiting outside in a car beeping the horn, but I wouldn’t come out. Although, I wasn’t even aware of the word “depression” (we called it a “nervous breakdown” back then), I was clinically depressed at the time.

There were no decent treatments or medications for major depression disorder back then. Nothing terrible had happened to cause it. I just woke up one day with a chemical imbalance. My hands shook. I couldn’t concentrate or sleep. I felt painfully self- conscious, as if I had forgotten everything I ever knew how to do, and nothing…absolutely nothing had even one ounce of pleasure to it.

Years later, I did some medical and genealogy research in an attempt to understand what had happened to me and came to suspect that my depression was related to the thyroid gland and was something I was genetically pre-disposed to. It eventually ran its course (something in-between a year and two) and caused me to study nutrition and to improve my own. Ultimately, suffering through a severe depression was a rude awakening that shaped me, deepened me, and made me more compassionate of others.

I hate that I have had to spend my adult life saying “I almost went to Woodstock,” the cultural event of my generation. But I think it was probably a good idea that I missed it. Even considering that I could have seen Janis Joplin sing onstage if I went, as someone depressed at the time, I don’t think I could have handled all the rain, mud, and the crowds that Woodstock was famous for.

As for the 3 true statements:

~ I rode on an elephant at a Renaissance Festival in Texas.
~ I hiked part of the Appalachian Trail…4 days worth.
~ In the 70s I worked behind the scenes on a short-lived Boston Children’s TV show, managing the children when they were offstage. Sometimes I (or my hands) could be seen on TV setting up projects and delivering supplies. I also was in the audience of “Candlepins for Cash.” My mother was a bowling contestant on the show and all nine of her kids went to support her, back in the days of Major Mudd, another Boston based 1970s TV show.

The last time I played this "pick out the lie" game only a couple guessed the right answer, but this time the majority guessed right. I’ll have to make it harder next time. Here are the winners. Thanks to everyone for playing!
A Revision , Melange, Jo(e)’s Place , Life in Mayberry , Colleen’s Corner, Nkki-ann,Hurricane Country , Musings from the Underground , Blue Stocking

Posted by Colleen at 12:19 AM | Permalink | Comments (20)

I had so much fun with last month’s game of “can you pick out the lie?” that I thought I’d try it again. Listed below are 4 things about me, one of which is a lie. Can you guess which it is? Take your best shot. I’ll post the winner in an upcoming entry.

1. I’ve ridden on an elephant.
2. I’ve hiked on the Appalachian Trail.
3. I went to Woodstock.
4. I’ve been on TV.

Posted by Colleen at 12:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (18)

I got the idea of featuring my 10 favorite posts from Paul at “Writing from the Hip.” I’ve been blogging at Loose Leaf for 9 months now, and I decided to choose favorites from my first 6 months of entries, March – August. I didn’t have many readers in my first few months of blogging, and so I appreciate the chance to take some of those posts out of the archive closet and dust them off. In February, I’ll post excerpts and links for my top ten posts from September – February. Please feel free to leave a link to a favorite post from your site. Perhaps I can start a links list.

The Cursed Luck of the Irish: When I went to Ireland in 1997 to visit my grandmother’s hometown, I learned more about myself there than I could have in 10 years of psycho-therapy. The majority of the Irish people I met reminded me of my own family. I saw the faces of my aunts, uncles, cousins, and siblings in their faces. And that’s not all. The Irish tend to be unpretentious, playful, tender-hearted, nostalgic, self-directed, and not overtly ambitious. They are often self-deflecting, something that can be endearing but it can also border on an inferiority complex. And I thought these traits were unique to my own family. Read more...

The Blog Files: As a foster care provider for the past 8 years, and a person who has done some basic family genealogy research, I understand the importance of good documentation, and I consider my blog to be another form of it. Back in the days before the internet, I was a prolific letter writer, which turned out to be an important aspect of my writing self-education, just as blogging is today. One of my favorite authors, home schooling pioneer John Holt, revealed that the bulk of material in his books was taken from his personal correspondences. Sometimes blog entries are simply daily posts, other times they have other applications and could end up in a printed publication, a future book, or read as a radio essay. Read more...

Who is a Writer? My definition of a writer is a person who is compelled to write, and if there is no payment involved, it only further confirms that they are one. A person who will work for days to find the just right word and the right order of every written line without the incentive of compensation is either a writer or not completely sane. When I say “I’m a writer,” I’m not necessarily claiming to be a “good writer.” I am saying that writing is what I’m interested in and what I do, more than anything else. Read more...

Losing a Loved One: You know how it is when you’ve lost a tooth, and your tongue keeps going to the spot where the tooth used to be? Your tongue is drawn to feel the remaining sharp edges and to repeatedly examine the huge gapping hole left in the tooth’s place. You realize you’ll have to learn to eat differently. It’s sort of like that, losing someone you love. Your mind is compelled to review every detail of your loved ones life and death. It’s a seductive kind of torture that feels good while it hurts. Read more...

Life is not for Wimps: I get nervous when I draw attention to myself. My hands shake when I open a Roanoke Times newspaper and know that a political commentary I wrote is inside. When the local newspaper did a story about my first book, I felt like a girl in my first training bra that the whole town knew I was wearing. And whenever I read poetry onstage at our local café, I blush and feel outside my body with fear. Read more...

Is It Summer Yet? I seem to know summer through my bare feet. As a girl, I remember how they hurt, walking on our long gravel drive-way. It didn’t occur to me to put shoes on in June. And if I had, how would my feet ever have gotten tough enough to withstand the rest of the summer? Growing up on a narrow peninsula in Hull, Massachusetts, my whole body was immersed in water for most of the summer. My feet would flap like flippers through the cool dark liquid bay, while I imagined I was a seal or a mermaid. I recall the feeling of sand through my toes and the sticky residue of dried salt water on my body and in my hair. I can still remember my revelation when, as a young girl, I licked my own skin and tasted the ocean. Read more...

Life in the Rural Fast Lane: I live in a one stoplight town. I get my honey from the woman who works the front desk at the Community Action Center and my fresh eggs from the Gralla-Shwartz family. Some of the egg shells are actually light green and the cartons have feathers and pieces of hay in them. I also grow a lot of my own food and my husband stocks the freezer with wild venison. Last year my potato crop was so prolific that I’m still eating them in now, in April. All the stores here take my checks without asking for identification and some will cash personal checks made out to me. It cost $5 to fix a flat tire (up from $3 just a few years back) and a haircut at the local barbershop is $7. Because I have no visible neighbors, I can weed my garden topless or sunbathe naked on a lounge chair (one of my top criteria for Paradise). My water is from a well. It’s pure and tastes good. I can’t hear any traffic. If you think I'm out in the sticks, here's the flip side of that... Read more...

Speaking Bloggish: I may speak English, but I think in Bloggish – that ongoing internal conversation that when put down on paper amounts to writing. My bloggish comes in blocks of thought, too short to be a commentary or even an essay, but just the right size for a …post. Even my first book, “The Jim and Dan Stories,” about losing my brothers a month apart, was written in blog-style blocks. At first I was confused by the format that dictated itself, the slightly disjointed short pieces that I struggled to name. Essays? Vignettes? Journal entries? In the end, when viewed as a whole, those short prose pieces wove together a story; partly an account of my brother’s last weeks; part a memoir of growing up together in a large Irish Catholic family; and part a chronicle of my personal experience coping with all-consuming grief. Read more...

Let Me Clue You in about My Father: In a family photograph of my father, taken in Germany at the end of WWII, he’s standing in his army uniform holding a blonde German child in his arms. Her hair is parted down the middle, pulled tightly into two braids. She looks happy. When I was a little girl, I formed an opinion about that photograph. Regardless of the fact that I hadn’t been born when it was taken, I wondered why he was holding her when he should have been holding me…or one of my brothers or sisters at least. We all agreed that my dad was handsome and looked like Elvis Presley back then. Read more...

Word Play: I’m the sort of person who reads a “wet paint” sign, but still has to touch the bench to see if it’s true. I’ve always been curious about the alphabet that way too. I believe that alphabet sounds have properties, like foods have vitamins, plants have medicine and colors have the power to affect our moods. The M…M…M sound conjures a sense of manna, matter or mother. Whereas, the letter G…G…G, when it's hard, sounds antagonistic, especially if it’s followed by R…R…R (Grrr). Why does an L sound so light and lovely while D seems to say “downward descent”? Read more...

Posted by Colleen at 9:48 AM | Permalink | Comments (17)

Who needs a fortune cookie or a psychic reading for the latest predications or insight into yourself? Just type your own name like this “colleen is” in a google search engine and see how accurate the oracle can be.

Colleen is teaching "Breaking into Film/TV.
Colleen is endorsed by the Washington State Fire Department.
Colleen is featured in a television commercial
Colleen is a practical person whose goals are planned, practical.
Colleen is secretive.
Colleen is empathetic and compassionate with her clients.
Colleen is a regular radio personality guest.
Colleen is an excellent choice.
Colleen is proud to have been there from the beginning.
Colleen is here!
Colleen is the artist and designer of the series.
Colleen is heating up rooms large and small.
Colleen is aware that relapse is always possible.
Colleen is self-willed!
Colleen is a writer and editor.
Colleen is drawn to the alchemy of painting;
Colleen is finally rocking her to sleep.
Colleen is a good mother and the pups are doing well as can be seen from the photo.
Colleen is a wise and patient teacher, truly a spiritual person who cares.
Colleen is also a dedicated, hard-working community volunteer.
Colleen is a sight-seer on vacation!
Colleen is working on new patterns and we will see in the future.
Colleen is allowed to have a couple of her friends stay with her.
Colleen is working with reporters at the leading radio news.
Colleen is a blur.
Colleen is a size 4, 5' 6", and weighs 110 lbs.
Colleen is very tired and thirsty.
Colleen is now a loner, left to scour the island for food by herself.
Colleen is no longer an option.

This idea was borrowed from Mary at “garden mantis.”

Posted by Colleen at 9:13 AM | Permalink | Comments (10)

The winners of yesterday “Liar Liar Pants on Fire Contest” are… Cindy at Twisted Cindy and Laura at Blue Stocking. They both followed their gut instinct and guessed correctly that I don’t have a shamrock tattoo. Most people (8 of them) thought the one white eyebrow was the lie. Check out the breakdown below:

1. Shamrock Tattoo? I don’t have a shamrock tattoo or any tattoo for that matter. Although, my blog photo was taken in Ireland with a shamrock pinned to my sweater.

2. One white eyebrow? Number 9 on my list of 100 Things About Me reads: When I was 13 my hair went white in a streak on the left side of my head. It’s called segmental vitiligo. It’s a loss of pigment, which also involves part of my forehead, my eyebrow and eyelashes on one side, and is likely caused by a head injury. I’m very good with make-up. Sometimes when I have company or I’m visiting somewhere and I’m cleaning off my make-up at night, I shout out, “Wanna come see my white eyebrow?” Everyone comes to see it.

3. Job as a night watchman? In a clip from past post called Job Doesn't Work, I wrote…I once had a job as a night watchman. I live in a small town and I suppose the company that hired me didn’t think there would be anything too dangerous for a 5’ 1” 115 pound woman to watch out for. I spent a lot of time watching the night sky, the moon and stars. A perfect job for a poet, I thought.

4. Runway Modeling? I actually have done runway modeling, more than once. I even did it in skis. It happened nearly 25 years ago and I never got paid, but I can still do a mean twirl.

Thanks for playing, everyone. It was fun!

Posted by Colleen at 10:05 AM | Permalink | Comments (9)

One of the following is not true. Can you guess which one?
1. I have a shamrock tattoo.
2. I have one white eyebrow.
3. I once had a job as a night watchman.
4. I’ve done runway modeling before.

Siblings, hold your tongues until tomorrow. I’ll post the answer then, along with who got it right.
This idea was borrowed from Lu’s News…go see if her pants are on fire.

Posted by Colleen at 9:26 AM | Permalink | Comments (16)

5 Years and 5 Things Ago…
What were you doing 10 years ago? I was watching my youngest son Dylan’s soccer games and my eldest son Josh wrestle in his first state tournament. I was taking prom pictures of Josh and teaching him to drive. Dylan dyed his hair red and got a bb stuck in his leg. I was vending my jewelry at Grateful Dead concerts and working at a bead shop. Joe and I traveled to the South West, hiked into the Grand Canyon and camped at the Havasupi Indian Reservation.

5 years ago? My youngest son, Dylan, graduated from High School. My sister, Sherry got re-married, and I was her maid of honor. Our brothers, Jim and Dan, were still living. I was doing full-time foster care for an adult with disabilities…doing direct-care, going to trainings, and writing quarterly reports. I swam in a phosphorescent bay in Puerto Rico and saw the Pacific Ocean for the first time.

One year ago? I attended the Hull Village Reunion and saw friends I hadn’t seen in 30 years. It was also a book signing for my book, “The Jim and Dan Stories.” The Boston Globe did a story on it. Joe and I rode our bikes on the Virginia Creeper Trail. We put a new roof on our house.

Yesterday? Paid bills, dug garlic, planted lettuce, filled my basket and arms full of produce, talked to my son on the phone, cleaned off the kitchen table, cried while watching Dr. Phil, made spaghetti sauce, blogged and worked on my writing in between all of this.

5 snacks you enjoy? Kettle chips, peanut butter balls, mozzarella, carrot cake by chef, Kelly Erb, heath bar crunch ice-cream.
5 songs I know all the words to? I Could Drink a Case of You by Joni Mitchell, Higher Love by Steve Winwood, Layla by Eric Clapton, My Favorite Mistake by Sheryl Crow, and most all the Beatle’s songs.
5 things you would do if you had a million dollars? I would give some to family members, progressive politicians, and charities that I support. I’d buy an oceanfront cottage, go to Italy to eat lunch, and tuck the rest under my mattress.
5 things you like doing? Dancing, gardening, writing, walking the beach, taking a hot bath.
5 bad habits? Burning pots of food, starting books and not finishing them, having nearly illegible handwriting, putting off making phone calls, keeping my car a mess.
5 things I would never wear again? Platform shoes, Toni perms, midriff showing clothes, my big floppy hippy hat, or my boyfriend’s school ring around my neck.
5 favorite toys? Literally…tops (especially if they light up), kaleidoscopes, squishy goop with sound effects, small doll house stuff, and things you wind-up.

I found this meme a couple of months ago on mommy-matters.blogspot.com. I’ve listed the people I’m tagging below. For the best cross-pollination results, taken from “Five Things I Miss About My Childhood,” the tagging instructions go like this: Remove the blog at #1 from the following list and bump everyone up one place; add your blog’s name in the number 5 spot; link to each of the other blogs.

1. Loose Leaf : http://looseleafnotes.com
2. Simply Coll: http://colleenscorner.com/blog
3. MommaK: http://petroville.blogspot.com
4. Writing from the hip: http://writingfromthehip.blogspot.com
5. Blue Stocking: http://bluestocking.typepad.com

Next: select four new friends to add to the pollen count. (No one is obligated to participate and anyone can play if they want to).

Posted by Colleen at 10:12 AM | Permalink | Comments (10)

Our garden was recently raided by a bare-footed hungry Corn Maiden, my youngest son’s girlfriend’s daughter. She plans to come back in September or October when the pumpkins are ripe, at which point we’ll call her “The Goddess of Harvest.”

And in other news, for those who haven’t heard:
1. Please don’t use the word “online” in a comment. Apparently, my blog doesn’t like it. After three different readers were unable to comment here at “Loose Leaf” and were cited for “questionable content,” and after determining that the said citations were “questionable,” I did some detective work. I discovered the common denominator to be the word “online,” although, I seem to be able to say it all I want to out here on the front page. Please feel free to say “on the internet,” or as Lu from Lu’s News (a reader who didn’t take too kindly to being bumped) suggested: o.n.l.i.n.e.

2. Yesterday I came across a tip from Yellojkt, suggesting that his readers check out “The Tail that Wags the Blog," a recent Washington Post column by journalist and blogger Joel Achenbach. Yellojkt described it as the funniest thing he had ever read about blogs. I agree, and so I’m passing the tip along.

3. And this just in from Laura at Milk and Honey: The Human Clock! It’s a site that posts people’s intriguing photographs displaying the current time, with the photo changing every minute of the day. It’s worth a visit. Enjoy!

Posted by Colleen at 9:57 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)

After revealing some of the stupidest things I’ve done in my August 1st post, some members of The Love-Link, an email group I belong to, came forward with some of their own “stupid things.” Most were related to mishearing, like this one that my niece, Chrissie, shared:

She and her boyfriend recently went to a Red Sox game. There, the fans begin to cheer for one of their favorite players, Manny Ramirez. “We want Manny…We want Manny,” they roared. But Chrissie and her boyfriend are both from Virginia and not so in "the baseball know.” They thought the crowd was yelling “We want candy.” So they joined in the wild chanting with “We want candy…We want candy!” When someone later questioned her as to why she thought the crowd would be yelling “we want candy” in the first place, she answered that she thought it was some kind of coded lingo for “We want a hit!”

More than one person on the Love Link admitted to thinking “wind chill factor” was actually a “windshield factor,” and when my sister Sherry was a girl she thought a line from a Beatle’s song “we all live in a yellow submarine” was “we all live in a jealous of marine.”

Malachy McCourt, the brother of Angela’s Ashes author, is the author of “A Monk Swims,” the title of which is based on his mishearing of the Catholic prayer, The Hail Mary. As a child, I also misheard a line in that same prayer. If Malachy and I had our way, the Hail Mary would read like this:

Hail Mary full of grapes (grace)
The Lord is we thee
Blessed art thou
A monk swimming (amongst women)…

Have you heard any stupid things wrong lately?

Posted by Colleen at 9:10 AM | Permalink | Comments (14)

This meme was sent to me nearly a month ago by Musings of a Middle-aged Woman. I was in Massachusetts at the time on a solo sabbatical, being kept busy trying not to do anything really stupid so I could make it home in one piece. Sorry it’s taken so long to answer…

1. What are the three stupidest things you’ve ever done in your life? A few years ago my sister Kathy, my mother, and I went to Nova Scotia to visit my mother’s elderly aunt, whom she had never met. We took “The Cat,” a large car ferry with sleeping bunks and a casino in it, from Yarmouth, Maine, to Halifax. After driving our car onto the ferry, we found ourselves standing in a small ship’s closet for nearly 5 minutes thinking it was an elevator. We looked so convincing that a couple joined us, before a ship’s mate came to the rescue and redirected us.

I’ve done a lot of stupid things related to computers. The most recent was at my brother-in-law’s house when I was trying to use my USB (universal serial bus) plug and his computer wouldn’t open it. After trying several times, finally, a box came up, asking, “Do you want to re-format?” I hit, yes, happy that it was finally doing something, and it promptly erased all my worked and fried the gadget altogether.

I once went on a solo writing retreat without a Dictionary or a Thesaurus, which is a little like going shopping without any form of currency to buy something with.

2. At the current moment, who has the most influence on your life? Hal, my computer.

3. If you were given a time machine that functioned, and you were allowed to pick up to five people to dine with, who would you pick? Annie Oakley, Einstein, Rumi, Babe Ruth, and Cleopatra…just to see how they would all interact.

4. If you had three wishes that were not supernatural, what would they be? Is (in the words of Elvis Costello) peace, love, and understanding supernatural? I hope not. I hope I live to see members of the current Bush administration be held accountable for some of their regrettable actions. I hope clean air and water hasn’t become supernatural either.

5. Someone is visiting your hometown/place where you live at the moment. Name two things you regret not having in your city, and two things people should avoid. We have fresh fish and an internet café (pretty good for a small rural town), but we don’t have any mass transit here. I would tell visitors to avoid hitting a deer while driving, getting lost on the back roads, or getting up close and personal with a bear.

6. Name one event that changed your life? Being with my brother Danny when he took his last breath.

7. Want to play? This is the part where you pass it on. I’m tagging the following: Out and Back, The Nearest Distant Shore, Chronicles from Hurricane Country, Millersville,and One Day at a Time.
~ Now feel free to add something stupid that you've done.

Posted by Colleen at 10:34 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)

AKA: My Little Prodigy

Posted by Colleen at 9:28 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Will posting your pet peeves discharge the discomfort they cause, in a similar way that doing psycho-therapy about your childhood can help to release its hold on you? Here is my list to test the theory:

~ At the car wash when they put down your radio antennae and then don’t put it back up and you go for weeks with static in your radio until you realize it
~ People who style their hair to make it look like a mess
~ When a cop pulls me over to check if I have a seatbelt on – What else will they decide is for my own good and then charge me if I don’t do it?
~When the “This Page Cannot Be Displayed” is displayed on my computer screen.
~ When ordering a cup of tea and the server puts the unopened teabag on the side of the cup and you have to rush to open it and put it in the cup and by then it won’t brew and you have a lousy cup of tea. Would coffee drinkers put up with cold tasteless coffee, routinely?
~ Speed bumps, reality TV, and TV commercials that use classic songs from the 60s to advertise their products

That felt pretty good. Feel free to get a few pet peeves off your own chest…

Post Note: I’ve been reviewed. Floyd County in View arts writer, Jim Locke, recently posted a review of Billy Collins and local poets who have appeared in the Museletter, the Floyd publication that I co-edit. Check it out.

Posted by Colleen at 9:26 AM | Permalink | Comments (11)

A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.
-Jerry Seinfeld

I’ve never been considered a book worm. Although I’ve read my share of books, I seem to collect them even more than I read them. The first book I remember being stirred by was a family copy of Hans Christian Anderson’s Fairy Tales. The pictures on the cover were deeply disturbing to me as a child, but that’s what drew me to them. My father read Anderson's “The Snow Queen” to me, and it’s haunted me ever since.

The following meme theme on books was sent to me by Lora at Black Currant Jam and is being passed on to my sister Kathy, a voracious reader, at A Particularly Persistent Point of View. My answers are below:

Total books owned, ever: This is like asking me how many times I’ve eaten spaghetti? Between my husband and me, we can fill a new bookshelf every few years. We both have a weakness for books.

Last Book I bought: Does the $100 gift certificate I won from the Easy Chair bookstore at the last poetry slam count? So far I got “Twenty Love Poems and a Song of Despair” by Pablo Neruda, “The Gold Cell” by Sharon Olds, “Vintage Hughes,” poetry by Langston Hughes, and “A Year by the Sea,” by Joan Anderson (curious after reading her second book first). The last book I bought with cash was “The Hidden Messages in Water,” by Masaru Emoto, which I wrote about here.

Last book I read: I have a lot of books going at once. I lean towards non-fiction, and I confess that I often don’t finish books. I read about ¾ of “Who Let the Blogs Out” before I had to bring it back to the library. I’m just starting “Beauty: The Invisible Embrace” by John O’Donohue, which was a birthday gift. The last book I read from cover to cover was “A Walk on the Beach: Tales of Wisdom from an Unconventional Woman” by Joan Anderson. I bought it and read while I was at the beach in St. Augustine, Florida, this past winter. I particularly liked that this memoir was set in Cape Cod, Massachusetts, near where I grew up.

Five books that mean a lot to me: This is like winning an academy award and trying to remember all the people you want to thank…so says my blogger “more about me” bio in answer to the question ‘what are your favorite books?’ Today I might say:

"Jayber Crow" by Wendell Berry: A fiction that tells the truth about what agri-business does to small town rural life as told by the local barber. Also, a poignant love story.

"The Bones of the Master" by George Crane: A poet and exiled Buddhist monk living in Woodstock NY make a pilgrimage into Inner Mongolia to search for the bones of the monk’s teacher. A compelling and well told true story.

"Writing Down the Bones" by Natalie Goldberg: Although I can’t write in noisy cafés like Natalie does, I enjoy all her books about writing, and this one started it all. She speaks my language.

"Angela’s Ashes" by Frank McCourt: I do prefer true stories. This one is about growing up in riveting poverty as an Irish Catholic, here in the U.S. and in Ireland. McCourt masterfully calls up his inner child and tells the story through that voice. I tapped into my own genetic pool and found my Irish accent while reading parts of this book out loud to my youngest son. (The movie didn't come close to living up to the book.)

On another day or in another decade, I might say: "The Soul of Sex" by Thomas Moore, "The Spell of the Sensuous" by David Abram, "How the Irish Saved Civilization" by Thomas Cahill, "Ishmael" by Daniel Quinn, "The Mists of Avalon," "The Aquarian Conspiracy," "The Kin of Ata are Waiting for You," or "The Earthsea Trilogy."

What do you have to say about books?

Posted by Colleen at 8:51 AM | Permalink | Comments (17)

The first time I saw the word "meme" on a blog, I decided it meant “theme about me” (hence the “me” “me”) and was pronounced “meem” to rhyme with theme. Eventually, I looked it up. It’s not in my 1978 dictionary, but the Wikepedia says that “meme,” which comes from the Greek word for memory, stems from a 1976 book by Richard Dawkins, “The Selfish Gene.” Dawkins defined the meme as “a unit of cultural transmission, or a unit of imitation. But in casual use, the Wikepedia goes on to say, “the term meme often refers to any piece of information passed from one mind to another. This useage more closely resembles the analogy of “language as a virus” than Dawkins’ analogy of memes as replicating units.”

I got tagged with 2 memes over the weekend. This one, which came via JustaskJudy, asks: What 5 Things do you miss about your childhood? But first the rules to this meme game:

Remove the blog at #1 from the following list and bump every one up one place; add your blog’s name in the #5 spot; link to each of the other blogs for the desired cross pollination effect.

1. Solioquy http://nbond.blogspot.com
2. Lyvvie’s Limelight http://lyvvielimelight.blogspot.com
3. The Cerebral Outpost http://thecerebraloutpost.blogspot.com
4. JustaskJudy http://justaskjudy.blogspot.com
5. Loose Leaf http://looseleafnotes.com

Next: select four new friends to add to the pollen count. (No one is obligated to participate).

1. Lora http://blackcurrantjam.blogspot.com
2. Jeanne http://musingsofamiddle-agedwoman.blogspot.com/
3. Terrilynn http://seaandsky.typepad.com/
4. Sean http://seans.typepad.com
5. Lu http://luann919.blogspot.com

Five Things I Miss About My Childhood

I miss the house I grew up in, 10 ½ Spring Street in Hull, Massachusetts. We moved there from Quincy when I was 5 years old. When I was 20, the town took our property through eminent domain and burned the house to the ground, before building a sewage plant in its place. I still try to remember or imagine all the things I left in my bedroom closet. I am thrilled when I occasionally see the house again, in a dream.

I miss the granite boulder seawall that ran along the ocean in the back of our house. I ran on it, hopping from rock to rock, in my bare feet and never fell, which I think was formative in developing a “surefooted” self-confidence that carried over into some other parts of my life. We made forts in the boulder crevices that we were sure we could live in. We tried to start fires by rubbing two sticks together to heat up cans of soup.

I miss being with all my siblings as children and the sense of belonging I felt as one of nine. I miss the innocence of the prayer we said at night: God Bless Mommy, Daddy, Jimmy, Kathy, Colleen, Danny, Sherry, Johnny, Joey, Bobby, and Tricia…and believing in Santa Claus. I know we fought, like most siblings do, but even that helped to bond us, I think.

I miss the wild things and the land itself where I grew up. The blackberry patch was where I saw my first bat and black willow spider nest. In the winter the marshy land around it would sometimes fill in with water and freeze, and we could ice skate on it. We had forts and a tower and a cemetery, all within view of our house. The ocean ran along the back of our house and the bay was in front. Once, during a storm, we got flooded and the Coast Guard (who were our neighbors) came in rowboats to get us out.

I miss the lazy days of summer and sometimes even being bored. There was time to lie in the grass and watch clouds, or invent games. I miss the jump rope songs we sang and the game called 7-up. All you needed was a ball and a wall to play it. What ever happened to our paper dolls? Sometimes we played “teenager.” We wore sweaters on our heads for long hair and wrapped bath towels around us for skirts. We made glue from flour and water and looked at the Sears catalog for hours, making imaginary orders that felt real to us.

What do you miss about your childhood?

Posted by Colleen at 9:24 AM | Permalink | Comments (11) | TrackBacks (1)

Okay. Do I have your attention?

After two long posts in two days, I’m ready for some blog-lite. A photo will do just fine. Do you notice anything strange about this one? Remember the flash cards we played with as kids of faces, upper bodies, and lower bodies? The object of the fun was to mix up the cards in unlikely orders.

Shall I tell you the secret to the photo?

It’s actually 3 photos lined up to look like one. It’s my head, my Asheville potter son who loves the Red Sox’s upper body, and my husband’s lower body.

Now I know what I’d look like if I was a man. It’s almost too weird to look at. But I always did want to be taller.

Posted by Colleen at 10:42 AM | Permalink | Comments (12)

You might think me an English socialite, judging from the fact that I just attended two tea parties in one week. The first was held on my friend Katherine’s back porch and the topic of conversation was growing up Catholic. All of us in attendance were raised Catholic, and one woman had actually spent over 20 years as a nun before being guided from within to leave the convent. There were scones and jam and cream and pots of tea. The words “fire and brimstone” were used.

Then there was “high tea” at Gillies in Blacksburg where black Assam tea, strawberry shortcake, and lemon squares were partaken. The subject there was “the Downing Street Memo,” the leaked English memo which reveals that President Bush and Tony Blair had fully intended to invade Iraq, even while they were telling the public that invasion would be a last resort. The word “impeachment” was uttered, more than once.

The next day, while recovering from carbohydrate overload, I received a phone call from my Asheville potter son who loves the Red Sox. He was back from his trip to England and planned to stop by and visit me on his way home to Asheville. Not only was he speaking in a perfect English accent, he was using Cockney Rhyming Slang.

From my understanding, rhyming slang is most associated with East London and likely derived from gangsters who learned to talk in code as a way to be discreet about their activities. In the bizarro world of rhyming slang “plates of meat” mean feet, and “apples and pairs” are stairs. It would be fun and easy if that was all there was to it, but it’s not. Part of the tradition is to drop the rhyming part of the coded phrase, so that stairs would be called simply “apples.” Holy shite (Irish for you know what)! My son already uses lingo profusely…how will I ever understand him now?

Here’s an example and translation of rhyming slang that I found at The Cockney Rhyming Slang Dictionary Page: “Got my mickey, found me way up the apples, put on me whistle and the bloody dog went. It was me trouble telling me to fetch the teapots.” It means: “Got to my house (mickey mouse), found my way up the stairs (apples and pairs), put on my suit (whistle and flute) when the phone (dog and bone) rang. It was my wife (trouble and strife) telling me to get the kids (teapots and lids).

While waiting for my son to arrive, I made up a few rhyming slang phrases that I wanted to try out on him…but not before offering him a “spot of tea” (not another tea party, please), so I got the tea-set down from the cupboard, put it on the kitchen table and waited.

He arrived wearing a souvenir T-shirt that said “Mind the Gap” (that would be “watch your step” to us), and after some big greeting hugs, the subject of Cockney Rhyming Slang came up. I told him about the two tea parties I had attended, the scones and lemon squares, and then I said, “If I keep going to tea parties, I’ll end up in with a big jar." I had to translate: jar of jelly = belly. Drop the rhyme word “jelly” and jar, according to rhyming slang logic, now means “belly.”

Some Cockney Rhyming Slang made its way to this country and is still used today, such as with a wet “raspberry” kiss that you blow on the object of your affection (or your victim). The translation goes like this: raspberry tart = fart. Drop the word tart and now raspberry means fart. That’s the sound a good raspberry kiss makes.

Confused yet? If not, feel free to make up your own rhyming slang.

Posted by Colleen at 9:09 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)

Last week when my son was en-route to come home for a wedding, he left a message on my answering machine in response to my request, “Leave your 3 wishes after the magical beep.”

As one of his 3 wishes, he stated, “I wish cotton was a monkey.”

Intrigued by the wish, I didn’t erase it, and finally I remembered to ask him (via an e-mail) to explain. Here’s what he answered:

"It’s a line from the old 'Little Rascals' TV show, from the episode where Buckwheat gets a magic lamp. He rubs it and makes two wishes. He says, 'I wish I had a watermelon…I wish I had a watermelon…' and then, 'I wish Cotton (another Little Rascal character) was a monkey…I wish Cotton was a monkey.' Then, a monkey that escaped from the zoo comes on the scene and everyone thinks it is Cotton.”

Old school funny, is what my son calls it. As he explained his unusual wish (which was really Buckwheat’s), I remembered watching the episode as a little girl, and even then it was “an old show.” I guess my son had seen the re-runs of the re-runs of The Little Rascals.

I’ve gotten some other new wishes, via my answering machine genie…a new car, peace on earth, and etc. My own current wish is this: I wish my kitchen would clean itself.

There’s still time to leave your own 3 wishes…

Post Note: My essay about my dad as a WWII Vet, "Let Me Clue You In," aired today on Public Radio. It is read by me and can be listened to by going to www.wvtf.org/news.htm

Posted by Colleen at 10:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (12)

There was a time when people would call me just to hear my latest answering machine message. The agency I worked for did not agree that my messages were entertaining. They wanted something more formal and informative. But I’m no longer doing full time foster care, so I’ve recently resumed my answering machine mischief.

My latest message simply says: Leave your 3 wishes after the magical beep. And these are some wishes from callers this past week:

~ From the Harvest Moon Food Store: I wish the price of your green tea that just came in didn’t go up by $3, but it did.

~ From my husband: I wish I was driving your car instead of the truck (see below post). I’m on my way to Blacksburg now.

~ Owner of the Café de Sol: I wish the Floyd Writers’ Circle would come to a spoken word night here.

~ My son from the road while hitchhiking from Asheville to Floyd: I wish I had a ride from Blountville, Tennessee, to Christiansburg, Virginia.

~ My husband again, who is of Irish descent, sang: I wish I was in Carrickfergus for a night in Ballygrand…I would swim the deepest ocean…only for a night in Ballygrand…But the sea is wide and I can’t swim over…and neither have I but wings to fly…

But the most common message left by callers this past week was: I wish you’d call me back.

Feel free to leave your own 3 wishes or your favorite answering machine message…

Posted by Colleen at 8:53 AM | Permalink | Comments (11)

At Oddfella’s Cantina this past Friday night, the music was Irish and the special was halibut. We were a table of 9, about half women, half men, ranging in age from 25 to 65. I passed a notebook around the table for a new take on “10 Things I’ve Done That You Probably Haven’t.” The question posed was “Name One Thing You’ve Done That I Probably Haven’t.” Below are the answers that were given (one being mine):

~ I pet and fed an eel in a fresh water stream in Papua New Guinea that emptied into the sea.
~ Adventuring in college, I crawled through a 100 ft. tunnel in a cave on my stomach that was so narrow and small that I could not lift my shoulder while dragging myself through.
~ I prayed at the Wailing Wall and had a Mexican date me just cause I was a red-head.
~ I wrote 50 songs
~ I participated in a peyote ceremony with the Northern Cheyenne in Montana.
~ I walked at treetop level on a walkway in a temperate rain forest in Australia.
~ I rode at full gallop on a mountain pony at 11,000 feet in the Andes without holding on.
~ I birthed 5 sons at home, the first two being twins!
~ One cold winter, it warmed up enough that I ice skated naked on a frozen pond.
Feel free to add one of yours...

Posted by Colleen at 8:54 AM | Permalink | Comments (9)

Not long ago, I read that Albert Einstein was so distracted by his mathematical passion that he went out one winter day and left the hanger to his overcoat inside his coat…while he was wearing it! It scared me because it sounded like something I would do. I found myself patting my back after that, just to check. It’s not like I’m doing rocket science, but I frequently feel like the nutty professor type. You know, I hear voices (muses) in my head while I’m out in public, and it’s distracting.

Here’s something else that scares me: Not only do I worry about leaving hangers on my clothes while I’m wearing them, but, according to test results, I’m going to live to the age of 94 as…Kramer! Let me explain.

Recently, while bloghopping, I came across a fun site recommended by blogcruiser. It’s called blogthings.com and was listed as a place for bloggers to get ideas for things to post. Some of their offerings were quizzes to determine things like: What age will you die, What gender is your brain, What kind of American English do you speak, and What Personality Disorder Are You.

The first quiz I took was to determine when I would die; age 94 I was told. Then I did the personality disorder test. I answered a series of questions, hit the “submit” link…and presto…a picture of Seinfeld’s Kramer popped up on my screen with this explanation: You’re a bit odd and socially isolated. You couldn't care less of what others think. And some of your beliefs are a little weird. Like that time you thought you were Jesus. Hmmm.

I belong to an email group, mostly family members, and we love this sort of thing. Soon we were sharing results, some of which included Miss Piggy, Marilyn Monroe, and wise guy, Tony Soprano. We all agreed that there was a shred of truth to each person’s result, with a little exaggeration thrown in just for fun. If you take the quiz - What Personality Disorder Are You? - tell me who you are. I hope the results don’t scare you.

Posted by Colleen at 8:29 AM | Permalink | Comments (9)

I agreed to a 5 question interview with J&J’s Mom at Millersville. I just got finished telling her, after viewing her wall mural art (posted at her site) that she could have a new career as an artist…or maybe as an interviewer, which is another art form, according to a book I recently read, titled “The Art of the Interview.” It’s not as easy as you think to tailor questions to the person you’re interviewing, but J&J’s mom is an all around artist at it, and today I’m her subject:

1. You've had your share of difficult times. Two such events being the loss of your brothers, one right after the other. This prompted you to write what turned out to be a book called The Jim and Dan Stories about them, your loss and growth afterward. How did writing this book help you move through the rough times? What are one or two things you learned about yourself after living through something most people never experience?

Writing the “Jim and Dan Stories” helped me to avoid overwhelming grief (by keeping me busy), while at the same time processing it. Is that what art does? I learned through losing my brothers that I’m surely and truly going to die and that I will never KNOW for SURE whether I will see them again in a recognizable form. That’s hard to accept. I also learned (can I name 3 things?) how deep my roots go and that my love for my family is the most important thing in life.

2. If you had the opportunity to do anything in your life over again, what would it be and why?

I would get therapy sooner!

3. You have one hour to spend with any one of your Irish ancestors. Who would it be and what would you ask them?

I would like to know more about the Dineen part of our family (my grandfather’s mother's family). I have information about my Bergin and Murray ancestors, but I don’t even know what part of Ireland the Dineens were from. The oral history goes…that my father’s aunt (from South Boston) was in touch with the Dineens via letters. But she exaggerated how well she was doing in America, so when the Dineens actually came to this country, rather than face the truth, she didn’t go to meet them…and we lost all contact after that.

4. Write a short poem about "Buttons".

I actually have a poem about a button, but I can’t find it. Off the top of my head:

I should know by now
how to button my lip
just go zip…
and close it.

5. You have a choice, $1,000,000, or a conversation with the President wherein he will do any one thing you ask him to. Which would you choose and why?

I had to think about this…it’s like one of those 3 wishes trick questions. I would forfeit the $1,000,000 for President Bush to be inflicted with what Jim Carey had in the movie “Liar Liar” and have to tell the truth. Then I would ask him questions about how and why we got into Iraq and about the 2000 and 2004 election and more. I’d take donations or charge admission for people to watch him answer, thus recouping some of my financial loss. But it would be worth the money to change history and hold those in power acccountable.

Posted by Colleen at 7:47 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

My friend, Juniper, got two speeding tickets in one day. One of them got thrown out on a technicality. Her vanity license plate said SACRED, but the cop wrote SCARED on the ticket.

I once left my journal in an Applebee’s restaurant after having lunch there. When I went back an hour or so later to look for it, I discovered that it was being used as a shim to balance a wobbly table.

I had an aunt named Alice Gertrude who went by the name “Gertie” and another aunt named Gertrude Alice who everyone called “Alice.”

Add one of your own…

Posted by Colleen at 8:50 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

“10 things I’ve done…that you probably haven’t” came from Melinama at Pratie Place - at least that’s where I first saw it. It’s another fun way to get to know each other. Feel free to share your own list. I would love to print out a collection of some of the most interesting ones. This is mine (in no particular order because my mind doesn’t think like that):
1. I jumped into a hole in an ice covered pond, naked after a sauna.
2. I lived below the poverty level for 15 years as a single mom raising 2 sons.
3. I got interviewed for the Roanoke Times on 2 occasions for home schooling my young sons.
4. I put a down payment on my house using money I earned selling my jewelry at Grateful Dead shows.
5. I got married on the Blue Ridge Parkway. The setting sun and rising full moon were in the sky opposite each other, like a bride and groom. It was a blue moon.
6. I wrote a book about losing my brothers a month apart, which spurred a Hull Village reunion in Massachusetts and a story about in The Boston Globe.
7. I swam in a phosphorescence bay at night in Puerto Rico. Every move I made lit up the water like day-glo
8. I lost my shoes in a Washington DC park while touring the Smithsonian Museums with a group of Blue Mountain School kids. They wouldn’t let me in to the view the Hope Diamond because I was barefoot. I felt like a dejected orphan working through a poverty complex.
9. I once went to a Halloween costume party and no one there guessed who I was. I then went in the bathroom, took off my costume (black), which revealed a different one (red) underneath. I went back to the party, confusing every one.
10. I met Jessica Lange at a Washington DC Peace March in protest of the Iraq war, handed her my poem “Dream for President Bush,” and she said “Thank you.”

And number 11, to end on an odd note (are you really counting?), I set up my first blog largely by myself, which is right up there with jumping in the ice pond naked and was a lot like looking up words in the dictionary that I didn’t have a clue how to spell.

Posted by Colleen at 8:47 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Found on a scrap of paper this morning and in my own handwriting: “If no one is going to quote me, I’ll quote myself.” Is that a quote?

Posted by Colleen at 8:55 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)