~ At the end, the living spirit of one’s life is supposed to shine through the tatters of the body’s mortal cloak. The gold of the self is supposed to become more visible despite and because the body begins to fall apart. The inner knowledge is supposed to shine through and become more available as [...]
In the spirit of my brother Danny who died in 2001, I went to his 40th year class reunion while in town to help out my mother in Hull this month. The strange line-up that began the crashing of the class of 1970’s reunion began with the crashing of a party for the class of [...]
But what you cannot bear to see is all that you will find … as mine is now and always yours, and yours is always mine … From “For Wayne” by Mara This is the page in my son Josh’s collage journal that he randomly opened to while talking with a friend named Melissa last [...]
I don’t know that you ever get over losing a loved one or if you just become hardened to the fact. It’s been 8 years since my brother Jim’s unexpected death, followed by my brother Dan’s a month later. Yesterday I was reminded at how far I have come from those first few tender years [...]
What’s it all about, Alfie? Is it just for the moment we live? ~ Joss Stone lyrics Whenever I slow down enough to where I’m not ruled by deadlines, a schedule, or commitments to others, I begin to be aware of underlying and subtle sadness that makes me wonder if all my activity isn’t actually [...]
Joe shuffled papers like a TV newscaster as people filtered into the Jessie Peterman Library’s Community Room. I smiled as they entered, just happy that the temporary crown on one of my front teeth that fell out earlier in the day was still in place. The talk my husband and I were scheduled to give [...]
It’s the eternal sadness from the Great Beyond. Everything’s coming and everything’s gone. ~ Donna the Buffalo I feel like I’ve been around the world in eighty days, although it’s only been twenty-one days that I’ve been vacationing up and down the east coast of Massachusetts, Delaware, and Virginia by plane, car, and bike. Now, [...]
~ The following was published in the Floyd Press on May 1, 2008. Rosemary Wyman’s business, New Day, has been providing home health care and support to individuals and their families since 2005. The business is a natural extension of a life long interest of Wyman’s. “Whenever I was asked what I wanted to be [...]
Joe took the day off to study for his upcoming counselor’s licensure test. I had just returned from a morning Scrabble game, the one where Mara complimented my lime green shirt and I explained how I had pulled all the little rhinestones off after I bought it at thrift shop. She and Rosemary, whose dining [...]
Death is associated with murder or disease, pain and dread. What would it be like if we didn’t die? Would we appreciate the time we have and use our life well? Existentialists think death is what gives life meaning. Susun Weed says that sometimes death is the cure. My friend Alex Wind, who died in [...]
Taking my bath at night with the lights dimmed low, I notice that the veins in my hands have started to become dark and raised like my father’s were. When my house clothes get that rumpled lived-in look and I forget to brush my hair because I’m immersed in a project, I feel his undomesticated [...]
I don’t go to the graveyard to feel the spirits of my loved ones. I dance. Through sustained dance I can forget my self. And if I dance long enough I sometimes come up against the veil between worlds. Sometimes I dance myself scared. I like to turn up the music and dance in the [...]
I was putting on mascara in the bathroom mirror when Joe called out from the kitchen to ask me where something was. “Ah nunno,” I mumbled back to him, trying not to break my concentration. The act of mumbling caused me to immediately remember my brother Danny’s last words, three hours before he died. With [...]
Last night while watching The News Hour, I couldn’t take my eyes off Ray Suarez, a PBS senior correspondent. At first I didn’t know why I was drawn to look at him so intently and why I felt soothed when I did. Then I realized that if I shifted my eyes slightly — the way [...]
It’s a yearly class on grief and loss for counseling students, taught by Radford University Professor Alan Forrest. The curriculum includes reading Tuesdays with Morrie and The Jim and Dan Stories, the book I wrote about losing my two brothers a month apart in 2001. The students, usually about twenty or so, watch a video [...]
It ain’t the heart, or the lungs, or the brain. The biggest, most important part of the body is the one that hurts. – poet, Sekou Sundiata It takes energy to hold a sharp focus on the memory of a loved one who has died. It’s like holding an arm wrestling position; after a while [...]
The Irish look within and see behind – know the heart and read the mind ~ written on a plaque in my father’s bedroom Turns out my dad had the best room in the house. In the past when I visited him and my mom I slept in the small third floor attic bedroom that [...]
When my brothers, Jim and Dan, died in 2001, I was shattered awake to the reality of death. As I struggled to penetrate its mystery, I allowed myself to grieve long and deeply. One of the ways I immersed myself in actively mourning Jim and Dan was to write a book about their lives and [...]
